Wait on You

Photo by Wojciech Święch on Unsplash

I stood still beside the window looking out on a misty morning, darkness fading as day came with conquering light, slowly yet confidently bathing the fields with exposure to beauty and knowledge. I didn’t know this new land. I had only driven through, spent little time in this city that we have now lived in for 7 cumulative years, having moved away and back again. Yet that first morning I awoke in this place was beautiful. It was filled with wonder and a holy fear. Where is this road taking us?

We were staying in a guest suite and I was having early labor pains. We had been to the hospital the morning before to make sure it was alright to travel across the mountains to the Yakima valley. It was too early to go into labor, I was not even 30 weeks along and yet the contractions were regular and constant. The doctor at the hospital monitored the baby and gave me some medicine to slow the contractions. Thankfully, it worked. My baby was safe.

We packed up our two toddlers and made the trek across the mountain pass. We were scheduled to meet with a church for my husband to candidate for the worship pastor job. I had mapped out every hospital along the route just in case the rumblings turned into full on labor.

On that morning of awaking to a blue pink misty field, I didn’t know how I felt about this place of unknowns. The gentle mist rising in an unknown land, a place and people that was foreign to me, and the question of whether we would raise our precious ones here. Would I trust the Lord with His shepherding love? Would I trust that the Lord would hold our family the way I was holding my pregnant belly, protecting the beloved  child growing inside?

Fast forward to this summer…

I’m always looking for new music, a new soundtrack to add to my personal life collection. I was telling some ladies recently, that while growing up, I was heavily into the CCM music scene. I knew every song by all the big name Christian artists and bands. There were few artists that I admit I didn’t know, but the ones I did, I listened to their music on repeat. Their song lyrics filled my days, and I memorized every lilt and stylistic overtone. I studied the cassette tape and cd jackets, enjoyed every photo and design element, and even took note of who played which instrument, who wrote the songs, who sang BGV’s, which instruments were used, and where the recording studio was located. These were important details, and I studied them like a kid studies baseball cards.

But not so today. Life is full and priorities have changed over the decades. Although, when I notice that an artist I appreciate has teamed up with an artist I’ve never heard of, I take notice of that. That is how I discovered Hillside Recording. I was listening to Tenielle Neda’s rendition of Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me, and saw that she had partnered with another band. Curious, I clicked over to their music and discovered new music to enjoy.

The cover art for the song, Wait on You, is a photograph of a field at dawn. I am drawn into this peaceful scene of a misty morning in the country, awaking to birdsong, and absolute quiet, a picture of serenity and peace, of the hope of a new day and new mercies from the Lord, of entering a day seemingly untouched by the brokeness of the world.

This photograph and song led me into two memories of awaking to a misty morning. The second memory is as a teenager at summer camp serving as a camp counselor at a Christian ranch in British Columbia. At early morning before dawn, I dressed and stepped outside of the cabin. Taking the road, I walked toward the fence with every crunch of gravel under my hiking boots. A baby calf stood nearby in the dew drenched grass, a fog covering everything, and a silence so peaceful. I longed to know Jesus more, to experience his presence and wait for him. Perhaps that is why a morning alone and in quiet is so precious to me. I want to sit at the feet of Jesus and wait on him with wonder and a holy fear, with a trust in the One who said, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I hope you too enjoy this song and learn to wait in expectation of the One who does more than we can ask or imagine.

In the stillness before dawn breaks
Steady my heart and mind as long as it takes
My God I've never seen far
Just keep my eyes on places You are
In every season I will wait
I will lean into Your strength
You will fight my battles I need only to be still

Wait on You, Song by Diana Trout and Hillside Recording

A Little Night Music in June: A Song for a Sacred Moment

Photo by Ozgu Ozden on Unsplash

A few weeks ago, I received the news that a beloved pastor in our denomination was in hospice care. Whenever I’ve received news that someone is in the final moments of life, God quiets my soul. I retreat inward into a focused hush. As grief swells around the wound of loss, my focus turns to prayer for that person as they approach the separation of body and soul. This is a sacred space, and an opportunity for God’s redeemed family to serve their brother or sister in Christ one last time, to get down on their knees and wash their feet through prayer as they prepare to run to their Savior.

Even though I didn’t know Rev. Timothy Keller personally, his gospel legacy reached even me, and I can trace his influence on my life ever since 2007 in the majestic alps of Switzerland where I first heard his recorded, gentle, pastoral voice on a cassette tape.

In a little chalet, with books stacked on shelves from floor to ceiling, I was in search of something to study as a newlywed wife. My husband and I had just gotten married and flown to Paris for his college semester abroad as he was studying for his Worship Arts degree. L’Abri, in Huemoz, Switzerland, was one of our stops on our three month journey through Europe, visiting various Christian places of worship and study. The typical visitor to L’Abri comes to study about their specific interests or questions of faith and Christianity. I didn’t arrive with questions (yet), but I wanted to learn about marriage. So I went in search of books and lectures recorded on cassette tape.

As I was browsing one day, I came across a series of tapes on marriage by a visiting teacher named, Timothy Keller. I popped it into the tape player and put on the headphones and settled in for an afternoon of learning. He sounded knowledgeable and wise, Biblical and methodical, and genuinely earnest. You could tell that he desired his students, from different countries and cultures, to clearly understand what he was presenting to them from the Scripture.

This was a pivotal time in my life. At that time I was 29 years old and my faith was solid. My faith that I had held so strongly before coming to L’Abri was about to go through an unexplainable and unexpected spiritual crisis. Additionally, I believe it was all planned by my loving God to guide and prepare me, through many experiences, and His loving sovereign hand, things that I would need later in life to help others also walk through difficult seasons like mine.

A couple years later, I learned of Tim Keller’s best-selling book, The Reason for God. I picked it up, because I was silently and desperately hanging on to my rock solid faith that was seemingly crumbling in the contours of the valley of all my questions. I was afraid of having questions. I was afraid to tell anyone that I was going through this experience. After all, I was a pastor’s daughter, had served in church ministry since I was in 7th grade, had gone to two different Bible schools, worked in various churches, served on missions trips, traveled all over to share the gospel of grace with anyone who would listen at home and abroad. And now, I was overwhelmed with questions and doubts that assailed me and threatened to overwhelm me. What would people think of me? I was simply ashamed to have questions.

The Reason for God helped me, as did various other books on apologetics, a branch of theology that works to defend Christian doctrine. I dove into it like nobody’s business. It became my daily passion, my evening study after I got home from my job, my constant obsession. Even more than my years at Bible college, I studied church history, sought out the writings and arguments of the leading Christian apologists of the day. My husband and I even went to a debate on Christianity held at the very secular University of British Columbia in Vancouver to hear a visiting Christian apologist explain the validity of Christianity. I pondered these things in my heart and wrestled with them in all my waking hours.

Eventually, over time, the faithful hand of God brought me through that spiritual crisis, and because of it, Christ gave me a more compassionate, gentle, and understanding heart for those who struggle with doubt. He took what seemed to be crumbling apart and strengthened it through the fiery trial.

I was working on my computer in our cozy family room the morning I learned that Tim Keller had died. My music streaming device had pulled up a new song that I had never heard before. This song and this grief collided in God’s perfect timing as the reality hit me that an era was over, that my brother in Christ was now with Jesus. I am so thankful for Tim Keller’s faithfulness to Jesus. I share this song here, because that moment was a sacred moment for me. A faithful pastor was home. God is making all things new.

All Things New - Ethan Nathaniel

A Little Night Music in April

Photo by Kenrick Mills on Unsplash

The candle is lit, Mozart’s strings and flutes play in the background and I sit down for a moment of rest and reflection. Its been a full month, and it seems I am only able to write once a month here on my blog. We have seasons that are fruitful and seasons where our fields lay fallow. Each season has purpose and our labor is to ask the Lord what shall we do in each of those seasons. What shall we do with the time we are given? Should we harvest, or is it time to plant? Should we till the soil and add the nutrients and minerals that will produce a better harvest next year. Should we let the field rest and restore as is God’s wisdom in caring for the land He has entrusted to us. Writing is a place of rest and creativity for me. So the field of this writing space is where I come to recharge and pour out of that rest, but, at least for this season, it is perhaps more sparse, but still there is work being done in feast or fallow.

Today, I want to share some music that has blessed me this month, and may, in turn, bless you the reader. I had never heard of Tenielle Neda before this month, and I am captivated by her music. Her songs are scripture based and come from a Reformed theology background. She is a wife, mom of two, and driver of iron ore trains in Australia - which I think is incredibly cool.

This is the music I play as I have become the chauffeur of my tweens and teens, to transport them and their friends, to drop off at track & field, music lessons, driving to and from school. I am in that season where I spend a large portion of time in my vehicle. So I must be prepared to use my time wisely, to be nurtured in my soul and mind, to learn and grow, to relax to music, and to pray. Driving time can be used for so many kingdom-minded moments. Tic Tacs, hand sanitizer, a bottle of water, a good pair of sunglasses, and a hat for bad hair days are also along for the journey!

What is My Hope? - Tenielle Neda

“And if we live, we live to the Lord. And if we die, we die to the Lord…”

The Heidelberg Catechism was published in 1563 and can be summarized as “an ageless summary of an everlasting comfort.” Question 1 asks, “What is your only comfort in life and death?” The New City Catechism also asks this first question, “What is our only hope in life and death?” The answer is the basis of this song, and Scripture is the basis of this timeless answer.

Romans 14:7–8

For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.

The Heidelberg Catechism answers it this way:


That I am not my own,

but belong with body and soul,

both in life and in death,

to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ.

He has fully paid for all my sins

with his precious blood,

and has set me free

from all the power of the devil.

He also preserves me in such a way

that without the will of my heavenly Father

not a hair can fall from my head;

indeed, all things must work together

for my salvation.

Therefore, by his Holy Spirit

he also assures me

of eternal life

and makes me heartily willing and ready

from now on to live for him.

This composition is full of emotion as it takes the listener from a minor key, asking the question of what is my hope? Even this simple question is evidence that we live in a broken and sinful world in need of restoration. The fact that we have to ask what our hope is, shows that we need hope to live in this world. It is a sacred question and one that confronts the darkness all around us, the emptiness of worldly pursuits, and the desperate need to be filled with the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit in our souls. There is a sadness that accompanies this question. It is not stated, but it is there in the backdrop of our need to define what is the most important thing about our existence.

The song moves victoriously into the chorus with a triumphant major key resolution, almost a sense of rest as it guides one into the truths of Scripture, the food for our souls to be nourished by. There is an answer to the longing of our souls and it is found in the Bible, the Word of God. As a youth, I remember this verse standing out to me as I searched the Scriptures to know Yeshua more intimately. “If we live, we live to the Lord” was such a radical truth that imbedded into my soul. God was calling me to live for Him.

The words and music of this song become perfect companions for the meaning of these truths and the rest that all Scripture gives in answer to the questions we ask in this dark world, a world that is being and will be renewed and restored by King Jesus.

I pray that you are blessed by this song as much as I have been, and that it will be eine kleine nachtmusik to reflect on in a moment of quiet.

A Little Night Music in February

Music helps us to "keep time" in the sense of keeping us in touch with time, not just time as an ever-flowing stream that bears all of us away at last, but time also as a stream that every once in a while slows down and becomes transparent enough for us to see down to the stream bed the way, at a wedding, say, or watching the sun rise, past, present, and future are so caught up in a single moment that we catch a glimpse of the mystery that, at its deepest place, time is timeless. - Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

At sunrise, past, present and future were all bound up in one moment as I saw strawberry plants proliferating through the winter weeds from last year’s garden.

I have never read anything by Buechner, but when I came across an article last year about his death, I realized I had heard his name before, in what season of life, I cannot remember, but his words dove deep into my heart that I knew I must read his writing at some point in the future. This month, through an online bookclub, I am making the effort to read one of his works. When I searched the internet for quotes on music, this one above met me in a personal way. Music does help us keep time with the fleeting moments of our lives. In fact, for me, it is a way to look back through my life at different stages and seasons. I often think in terms of the soundtrack of my life. Because music is such an important part of my life and being, when I hear a certain song, it brings me back to times and places and allows me to see “down to the stream bed” of that particular moment in time and what God was doing in my life back then. The following are my February selections to share some songs that might join you on your journey, and if nothing else, it may be a eine kleine nachtmusik to enjoy at the close of the day with a cup of Sleepytime tea.

Wait for the Lord - Taizé Community, music by J.Berthier

“Wait for the Lord, whose day is near.

Wait for the Lord, keep watch, take heart.”

Gathered together, and yet feeling each alone in a way, we knelt before the Lord with men and women from various nations, on the carpeted cement floor before candlelight and tapestry. Christians from various denominations and backgrounds were gathered to worship Jesus as a global Body. Awkwardly, we flipped through our songbooks full of worship songs in English, French, Latin, German, Zulu, Japanese, Tamil, and so on. We stumbled our way through singing songs in other languages and took in this experience of the Bride of Christ, believers in Jesus from different languages, tribes, and nations, gathered together in worship.

This was the first time I heard and sang this beautiful song of waiting and anticipation. The Taizé Community is an ecumenical monastic community nestled in the lush landscape of Taize, France, just a short bus ride from the small town of Cluny in eastern France. My husband and I traveled there sixteen years ago as part of a Christian worship & arts study trip. The kind people who lived and worked there, led our small group in worship, in work, and in discussion for our week long stay. I remember going for walks on the snow-covered bridge, the sun setting early, and enjoying simple, yet nourishing, meals from red plastic bowls. There was a stillness and calm reverence just being there. There was laughter in the midst of awkward cultural differences and language barriers. We all knew that to be there was a gift, and one where the Lord was doing a work in each of our hearts and minds. I long to go back there one day. It is a dream of mine.

We sing this song at our church plant. It is a song of perpetual advent, one that can be sung in the season of Advent, but also one that can be sung all year as we wait for the Lord’s Second Coming as He promised.

A winter walk at Taize, January 2007

Love Song for a Savior - Jars of Clay

“Someday He'll call her

And she will come running

She’ll fall in His arms

The tears will fall down

And she'll pray

I want to fall in love with you”

In 1994, a new Christian band came on the scene, Jars of Clay. Their album was named, Frail, and that year I was sixteen years old, and I was very frail. It was the year my life was upended by a chemical imbalance and anxiety disorder that turned me inside out and left me in a Job-like wilderness of confusion, brokenness, and despair.

It was also the year that the Holy Spirit was raising up song writers and music that would deeply touch me, ignite my emotions, and stir millions around the world in a revolution of heartfelt worship to Jesus. 1994 was a year of incredible worship music. This song was on repeat in my little car as I pushed the cassette tape into our ancient Toyota Corolla with no air conditioning, windows down, hair flying in the wind. I was sixteen, I was anxious, and I needed my Savior.

I don’t know the songwriters’ intentions behind this song or the story of how it came to be, or the industry standards each song and album needs to meet to make money. All I know is how this song impacted me. The Lord used this song as He stitched my frail mind back together. I knew His gentle eyes looked on me with blood-bought love and salvation. The strong sense of His sovereignty and love for me personally was something I needed very much, and something I wept for. The lyrics opened up the reality of multitude Scriptures and teaching I had received for years, and Jesus won my love and devotion, forever.

All throughout Scripture, God’s love for His people and each individual child of His is on full display, blood & covenant display, repeated over and over in the sacrificial system of the Old Testament temple to the actual incarnating work of Jesus the Messiah, whose love was expressed everywhere throughout Scripture from clothing the fallen human race, to His individual care for men and women in Old Testament antiquity, to the poetry of the Psalms, the messages of the Prophets, the redeeming love of a Savior, the God-Man who came to rescue souls from eternal judgement. His love for you is displayed, and He invites you into this Psalm-like desperate love and acceptance, this intimate relationship of Him with you every second of every day, the One who will never leave or forsake you. He is the One who is there with you now. The love He portrays through the picture of marriage between a husband and a wife, is just a glimpse of the unimaginable love of the Creator for His people.

Yes, Jesus did call me.

Yes, I did come running to my Rescuer.

Yes, the tears did fall down, over and over with love.

And yes, I did pray, “I want to fall in love with You”.

And I still look up into the sky and tell Jesus, “I love you. I love being loved by you.” I cry out from the depth of my being to love the One who first loved me.

Wildflowers by Tom Petty

Since it is February, and St. Valentine’s day is today, I want to share a little love song. In our newlywed years, my husband introduced me to a whole vast repertoire of music that was new to me. Tom Petty’s Wildflowers was one of those songs that we put on repeat in our little blue 2 door hatchback as we traversed the countryside on our adventures as husband and wife. I dedicate this one to my man:

“You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

You belong with your love on your arm

You belong somewhere you feel free…” - Tom Petty

Walking in Paris with my love, 2007.

Thank you for reading, beloved ones of the Father. May you walk through fields of wildflowers, sail on gentle waves, and find a song whispering to you of light, and life, and the love of the Savior.

Light in the Shadowlands

“Surrender-stillness-a ready welcoming of all stripping, all loss, all that brings us low, low into the Lord's path of humility--a cherishing of every whisper of the Spirit's voice, every touch of the prompting that comes to quicken the hidden life within: that is the way God's human seed-vessels ripen, and Christ becomes ‘magnified’ even through the things that seem against us.”

― Lilias Trotter

This quote, by missionary and artist, Lilias Trotter, takes me to a place of silence and awareness. It is an invitation to trust the Lord in the darkness and to wait for His light.

Our beloved church family, celebrating the feast day of Epiphany.

For the past several years, we have celebrated Epiphany with our church. We all bring delicious food, appetizers, and desserts to share. We dress up with layers, boots, and mittens and head out to a friend’s house where we haul our Christmas trees, crisp and dead from weeks of delighting our homes with the scent of evergreen and littering our floors with plentiful pine needles! This year, there were even fireworks before the bonfire. We gather around the small, brooding fire as my husband shares a liturgy to commemorate the arrival of the Magi, princes and Kings from distant lands, to visit the royal infant King who came to save all the nations. The Light of the World has come to all nations! One by one, the Christmas trees are stacked one on top of another, and the light from the fire grows and grows, as embers fill the sky in a magical swirl of beauty. The night grows, the shadows blanket the snow, but the light is growing steadily, and it fills us with joy.

We live in a world of darkness and brokenness. But we have not been left alone to wander aimlessly through this journey of life. Believers in Jesus have been given, quite literally, a Lamp to light our path. That light is Jesus Himself. That light is the Word.

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” - John 8:12

His light opens eyes to see who He really is. His light shows people how to live life in His Kingdom. And just like the light from our Epiphany fire grows and scatters darkness away, He sends out His light, the light we so desperately need.

The kind people at the PCA EnCourage blog invited me to share some thoughts. Join me there as I share more deeply about my own struggle against the darkness, and how the light of Jesus keeps illuminating my path. May you experience the healing and strengthening graces of His light shining upon you today.

Light in the Shadowlands

Wintering, Watchfulness, and Unlikely Advent Companions

As the Winter Solstice approaches, the days are growing shorter. The light which used to rise in the northeast now rises over the Ahtanum Ridge southeast of our home. Instead of setting behind Mount Rainier, it now sets directly behind Mount Adams, another of our majestic volcanoes that dress the landscape of the Northwest. Our windows face this most beautiful of dramas that christens every morning with beauty and blesses every evening with its swift benediction.

The evenings of the Pacific Northwest are the darkest of the contiguous United States where the sun rises today at 7:38am and sets at 4:14pm. The days will continue to decrease in light until December 21st, the darkest day of the year, nicknamed “The Big Dark” where we will only have 8.5 hours of sunlight. And north of the border, where I come from, it is even slightly shorter. This is the season of wintering and watchfulness. As we prepare for the onset of winter and wait for the light to begin growing again, the natural world around us urges us on toward preparation, both in our dwellings and in our hearts.

After 8 inches of snow fell last weekend, I tromped across our yard to the chicken coop where our ten little hens live. Poor little things! For days, they did not come out of their coop, terrified as they were and certainly wondering, “What is all this scary white stuff falling from the sky?”. I changed their bedding of pine shavings, filled their feeder with pellets, brought fresh water, and collected their eggs. I also took a snow shovel and tried to clear a path for them so they could see the familiar ground and attempt to step outside their shelter into the crisp blue sky.

I’ve been able to be attentive to my heart in an intentional way this advent. I’m pondering many things and trying to be watchful to what the Lord is teaching me, even if it’s just to be still. Since summer 2020, I have been waking more often in the middle of the night and early in the morning. Early morning quiet time has become an anticipated part of my morning routine. I sit beside the Christmas tree, decorated by our young lady and three growing boys who are, one by one, beginning to tower above me. One day, I noticed two of the new little birds my mother got for our tree when she and my dad were visiting. It was like these birds were watching me: two little companions to join me on my advent journey this year. It made me laugh. They are quite unlikely though, specifically because they are not real, but also because I never planned for them to be sitting there, watching me. But this is where they were placed when we decorated the tree, and I love that they are there “watching”. I’ve always loved woodland creatures, real or stuffed, and so there they sit. They’ve become my advent companions on these dark early mornings as I sit and read Scripture and meditate on Advent poems and thoughts and try to practice being still while I wait for the light to come.

Another unlikely advent companion is a set of songs I loved so dearly when they first were released into the world in the summer of 1998. This was an unlikely advent addition as it is not a Christmas album. And yet, it is everything that Advent and Christmas is. This past November, I was listening to all the old Rich Mullins songs I had listened to on repeat as a teenager and early college student, simply because I was reminded of this singer songwriter.

In summer ‘98, I had been out of high school for 3 years already with a year of Bible school, experience working at a Christian daycare, and several classes from a local university college tucked into my portfolio of post-secondary adventures. I had just returned home from a mission trip to Argentina and was trying to figure out the direction the Lord wanted me to go. I was taking my sweet time and the Lord was too, but all, I believe, for a purpose. Jesus is never late. I sought the Lord for guidance, and I couldn’t shake the desire to go back to Bible College. It’s what I wanted more than anything. As I prepared to switch colleges and enter back into Bible and ministry training, I discovered a beautiful collection of songs by the late Rich Mullins called The Jesus Record. It became my anthem and driving music to inspire me as I drove around the town of my beginnings and settled into my new life at Bible college.

Rich Mullins had died several months prior to the recording and release of his last album. Musician friends and artists completed it for him. I believe it’s one of his most powerful works of music that he recorded. The A side of the cassette tape is his own demo versions of the songs with just a tape recorder, a piano and a guitar. These are some of my favorite versions. The B side is the more polished, finished renditions of this collection which I love equally.

Recently, I stumbled upon a new recording of Rich Mullins’ songs called The Bellsburg Sessions. This album is a recreation of some of his original songs released just this year, 25 years after his tragic death. The familiar lyrics of these vintage songs remind me of that definitive time in my life as I wandered through the early years of adulthood. As I’ve been enjoying these songs afresh, I’ve been reminded of one that has become an unlikely advent companion in my heart, the song, My Deliverer:

Joseph took his wife and her child and they went to Africa
To escape the rage of a deadly king
There along the banks of the Nile, Jesus listened to the song
That the captive children used to sing

They were singing
"My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by
My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by"

Through a dry and thirsty land, water from the Kenyon heights
Pours itself out of Lake Sangra's broken heart
There in the Sahara winds Jesus heard the whole world cry
For the healing that would flow from His own scars

The world was singing
"My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by
My deliverer is coming, my deliverer is standing by”…

-Rich Mullins, The Jesus Record

This song is God-haunted, as it takes the listener to the banks of the Nile River in Egypt where the Hebrew slaves labored unceasingly under their oppressors, the Egyptian Regime in Old Testament times. These Hebrew children cried out for God to hear them, and He did.

“During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.” Exodus 2:23-25

Jesus, knowing the history of his people, of his ancestors, knew the cries of His people for deliverance. They were awaiting a deliverer, a Messiah, the Promised Seed, and he was the one prophesied to come. He came as a baby, born to a virgin, an “in-flesh-ment” as Eugene Peterson once called it. He came for his people, and he came for all nations.

He came for me. And He will come again for us.

At the time of first hearing this song, the Lord gave me hope and reminded me, during many trials, that my Deliverer, Jesus Himself, was coming back and He would rescue me from all the struggles. He would deliver me and heal me. So when I listen to this song now, 25 years later, I am reminded of that beautiful gift of hope He gave me in this song and through His Word and by His Holy Spirit! We are awaiting our Lord’s second coming. Until he returns, we are in a perpetual season of Advent. No one knows the day or hour of his coming, not even Himself, but only the Father (Matthew 24:36). My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by. When the Father gives the nod, the Son of God will come in all His glorious splendor, and He will bring the fullness of His Kingdom and His reign. Yes Lord, Come!

Winter in the orchards

On the First Day of Autumn

On the first day of Autumn, I sit here at my computer, surrounded by our homeschool curriculum, my second cup of coffee, one sweet 6 year old boy sharpening his pencil and trying to make it as small as possible, while listening to piano music by Franz Liszt in the background and the remaining fragrance of a green tea and bamboo candle puffed out hours ago.

On the first day of Autumn, my 12 year old runs upstairs gleeful to make a batch of espresso cupcakes, the same ones she made this past weekend for a bake and craft sale with a friend. My 3rd born is now sharpening pencils too and my 2nd born is most likely running in and out of the house enjoying this sunny day.

On the first day of Autumn, we celebrated Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ birthdays and read chapter four of The Fellowship of the Ring this morning! My daughter finished her online writing course, Writing with Hobbits, and her violin lesson. In a few minutes, we will drive out into the country for our son’s guitar lesson. Its been a long time since I’ve written on my blog and I have so many things to update. I hope you find this update a refreshing glimpse of light in an otherwise very dark world.

The first thing I want to share is that this past winter, before our monumental move across the state, before the wildfires that swept through the west coast, before the pandemic and Covid-19, Wildflowers Girls Magazine published my interview with a dear friend, Rebecca Giles. She serves as a missionary in St Andrews, Scotland. I would be honored for you to check out this interview in the winter issue of Wildflowers Girls Magazine!

Secondly, Deeply Rooted Magazine published an article I wrote on evangelism. In their Summer 2020 magazine issue, you can find this piece where I share my passion for evangelism and what God has taught me through the years. This magazine print issue was very timely in its publishing as my husband and I are church planting in the Pacific Northwest. While at seminary several years ago, I audited a few courses by Professor Jerram Barrs. I learned so much from him, including his heart for evangelism. I was thrilled to be able to share some quotes from his book, The Heart of Evangelism.

Thirdly, our family made a huge transition in moving across our state this summer. My husband finished a two year church planting residency, and we moved several hours away, over the mountains, across the desert to a town where we lived years ago. It was a joy to come back to this city, to put down roots, and begin our church plant. The Lord has gently led us, faithfully calling and preparing the way for us to follow Him in what He is doing. “He Leadeth Me” was a hymn I framed and placed on the wall beside our door in the house we lived before our move. Our daily prayer was that Jesus would lead us. Walking this road has been an act of faith. It has been an act of obedience and dependence on our Good Shepherd. He has been faithful in every step as He leads us in His will. We kept asking the Lord to show us His will and make the path clear. One step at a time, he has done this very thing. Jesus never promised that it would be an easy road, but his very name is a promise of his presence with us forever. The name, Yahweh, reflects his covenant promises of his eternal presence with his people. There is no valley he will not go with us.

Our world is still suffering from the coronavirus illness as it continues to spread. Our community is no longer a hot spot for infection like it was in summer, and for us, life is mostly back to normal in our day to day routines. The wildfires that plagued the Pacific Northwest have mostly dissipated in our area and the smoke has cleared, revealing the beautiful blue sky and green orchards on the hills. I am homeschooling and was deeply encouraged by Sally Clarkson’s recent Awaking Wonder online conferences. I listened to her podcasts a lot this summer as I painted many walls at our house. She was my companion as I sweated under the heat and work of renovation, and sipped my sweet iced tea! In all the suffering that our world has endured this past year, I am reminded of God’s goodness and faithfulness to accomplish all his holy will. He knows the number of our days, and the work that He has prepared for us to do. Our hope is in him. So, we carry on in the simplicity of joy, the quietness of confidence in His strength, knowing that when we suffer, we do so with a divine gift of joy entrusted to us who are His people.

He walks with me.