Dreamers Dreaming Greatly

“Before us all dawned, I think a new horizon – of the glory of the task to which God has called us – a glory in its every hardness & in the sense that we are working for the future & its coming day.  ‘We were dreamers dreaming greatly.'”  Lilias Trotter, Missionary to Algeria, 23 October 1911

A couple times this year, I was asked if we’ve experienced anything difficult in church planting. Church planting is hard. Its a daily dying and offering up of yourself to do work that is counter cultural, brings criticism, sits with people in their pain and suffering, counsels people to overcome sin in their lives, and intercedes in prayer for the building of a body of believers to stand against the powers of hell through the power of the Holy Spirit. It has been incredibly hard. Church planting has brought us to our knees in prayer many times. Throughout each trial that God ordained, He has strengthened us with a willingness to bear these things for the Kingdom of God, cocooning us in His love, defending us with His shield, becoming to us the Refuge to which we run. . We know our struggle is not against flesh and blood.

It made me think, have we not shared enough about our struggles? Have we only shared about the victories? I am a “glass half full” kind of person and so I try to see all the ways God is at work in a situation and then rejoice to bring Him all the glory, no matter how small the victory. I live to express my worship to God and praise Him for being the Wonderful One, and so that joy comes forth like a waterfall. But that joy is hard won. That joy was purchased for me on a bloody Roman cross by the Perfect One, the Lord Jesus. That joy was poured out through his electing will and through the indwelling of His Spirit. That joy was worked and reworked inside me as I went through years of formation during the dark years of depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, years of medication, counseling, and prayers for healing. Those dark times drove me to my Lord Jesus to depend on Him in ways I wouldn’t have, had everything been okay in my life. It was not okay for a very long time and at various times.

So I hide myself in the Lord Jesus where I find His protection and safety and security in His presence. I feed on His Word to sustain me and solidify my hope. He trains my hands for war, and that is what church planting is - it is war and a declaration of the victory of Christ claiming more souls with His torrent of love and forgiveness and grace.

As our fifth summer of church planting begins here in central Washington State, we see the beauty of summer unfolding in gardens, orchards, vineyards, in hiking trails and vacation time begins with visits to the woods, our favorite book shop, the new bake shop and of course the little garden shop where I just recently found the moonlight petunias I had been longing for. The reality of life is that life overlaps, with the good and the bad, the holy and the profane. As sun and heat bring vigor to our bones, it also brings local fires where people lose homes and animals and we watch the sky fill with smoke as friends send text notifications of evacuation. While our church continues to joyfully welcome new members, we also find freshly sprayed graffiti messages at the front entrance of our building. We step over these words as we enter to worship our Lord. Life overlaps.

Church planting is hard, but its very hardness is what makes it meaningful. The Lord works through those hardships to form us and to equip us. Nothing is wasted in the economy of the Lord’s work. And now we get to walk alongside others who are planting churches too, and encourage, pray, and support their work! We see God forming potential church plants in two areas near us. Our networks of friendships are planting churches in places around the country, and even more with those overseas planting gospel seeds for the beginnings of redeemed communities, gardens of God’s people being transformed by His wonderful Word, by the Word. The Holy Spirit hovers over His people, His gardens, and brings forth full and abundant life by His breath. We are dreamers dreaming greatly.

Wait on You

Photo by Wojciech Święch on Unsplash

I stood still beside the window looking out on a misty morning, darkness fading as day came with conquering light, slowly yet confidently bathing the fields with exposure to beauty and knowledge. I didn’t know this new land. I had only driven through, spent little time in this city that we have now lived in for 7 cumulative years, having moved away and back again. Yet that first morning I awoke in this place was beautiful. It was filled with wonder and a holy fear. Where is this road taking us?

We were staying in a guest suite and I was having early labor pains. We had been to the hospital the morning before to make sure it was alright to travel across the mountains to the Yakima valley. It was too early to go into labor, I was not even 30 weeks along and yet the contractions were regular and constant. The doctor at the hospital monitored the baby and gave me some medicine to slow the contractions. Thankfully, it worked. My baby was safe.

We packed up our two toddlers and made the trek across the mountain pass. We were scheduled to meet with a church for my husband to candidate for the worship pastor job. I had mapped out every hospital along the route just in case the rumblings turned into full on labor.

On that morning of awaking to a blue pink misty field, I didn’t know how I felt about this place of unknowns. The gentle mist rising in an unknown land, a place and people that was foreign to me, and the question of whether we would raise our precious ones here. Would I trust the Lord with His shepherding love? Would I trust that the Lord would hold our family the way I was holding my pregnant belly, protecting the beloved  child growing inside?

Fast forward to this summer…

I’m always looking for new music, a new soundtrack to add to my personal life collection. I was telling some ladies recently, that while growing up, I was heavily into the CCM music scene. I knew every song by all the big name Christian artists and bands. There were few artists that I admit I didn’t know, but the ones I did, I listened to their music on repeat. Their song lyrics filled my days, and I memorized every lilt and stylistic overtone. I studied the cassette tape and cd jackets, enjoyed every photo and design element, and even took note of who played which instrument, who wrote the songs, who sang BGV’s, which instruments were used, and where the recording studio was located. These were important details, and I studied them like a kid studies baseball cards.

But not so today. Life is full and priorities have changed over the decades. Although, when I notice that an artist I appreciate has teamed up with an artist I’ve never heard of, I take notice of that. That is how I discovered Hillside Recording. I was listening to Tenielle Neda’s rendition of Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me, and saw that she had partnered with another band. Curious, I clicked over to their music and discovered new music to enjoy.

The cover art for the song, Wait on You, is a photograph of a field at dawn. I am drawn into this peaceful scene of a misty morning in the country, awaking to birdsong, and absolute quiet, a picture of serenity and peace, of the hope of a new day and new mercies from the Lord, of entering a day seemingly untouched by the brokeness of the world.

This photograph and song led me into two memories of awaking to a misty morning. The second memory is as a teenager at summer camp serving as a camp counselor at a Christian ranch in British Columbia. At early morning before dawn, I dressed and stepped outside of the cabin. Taking the road, I walked toward the fence with every crunch of gravel under my hiking boots. A baby calf stood nearby in the dew drenched grass, a fog covering everything, and a silence so peaceful. I longed to know Jesus more, to experience his presence and wait for him. Perhaps that is why a morning alone and in quiet is so precious to me. I want to sit at the feet of Jesus and wait on him with wonder and a holy fear, with a trust in the One who said, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I hope you too enjoy this song and learn to wait in expectation of the One who does more than we can ask or imagine.

In the stillness before dawn breaks
Steady my heart and mind as long as it takes
My God I've never seen far
Just keep my eyes on places You are
In every season I will wait
I will lean into Your strength
You will fight my battles I need only to be still

Wait on You, Song by Diana Trout and Hillside Recording

Attending to Gratitude in Pages and Pathways

As I drove my kids to our little school this week, the smell of harvested apples permeated my senses, even with the truck windows shut to keep out the morning chill. Orchards must be in their final stages of apple picking right now. Its a common sight to see trucks heavily laden with full apple boxes being transported to the various warehouses in our fruit-bearing land. As we pass by the irrigation canals which wind through people’s backyards like quiet streams of life flowing on their journey from the top of Mt Rainier’s snow pack to our lake reservoir to water fields and backyard gardens, I notice the water level is going down. The irrigation season in what we call the upper valley is coming to an end and the canals will soon run dry once the water is officially shut off to this high desert. Homeowners will need to have their sprinkler systems blown out to remove all water from pipes before the first frost.

As the cold settles in, dew becomes a crunchy frost. It seems to me that the sweetest season in this valley is Fall, with apple, mint, and grape harvests to fragrance the air depending on which orchard, field, or vineyard one is traveling past.

This weekend, our family celebrates Canadian Thanksgiving with my folks and then in November, we will celebrate American Thanksgiving with a visit from them. I’ve designated this period of time as our Season of Gratitude, bookended with family visits. With a chalkboard marker, I wrote above my kitchen sink window “Season of Gratitude” as a gentle reminder to all of us in our home to be attentive to this season with grateful hearts, and it is a reminder to myself as well.

Some of the things I’m especially grateful for this October is the many books that I’ve been enjoying. Here is a little glimpse into some true and beautiful ideas I’ve been meditating and reflecting on in recent weeks:

The Confessions of St Augustine

In 2007, when my husband and I were visiting different Christian communities in Europe, I was inspired to study more of Church history, and a desire formed in me to discover the writings of early Christians after the time of the Apostles, generally called the Patristics, writings of the early Church Fathers, those directly mentored and discipled by the Apostles themselves. I got a copy of the shortest one I could find, On the Incarnation by Athanasius which I began to read but didn’t finish. Then for my birthday, several babies later, I asked my husband for a book on Tertullian, which I also didn’t get around to (it is a massive volume that awaits me on our bookshelf). Shortly after our fourth was born, I thought I’d read Augustine’s Confessions, the most popular of the Patristics. Again, it did not happen. However, this Fall, with my increased schedule of driving to and fro to transport my children to various school, musical, and sports activities, I’ve committed to listening to the audiobook of The Confessions. It is as others have said, so good. I will need to go back and read the actual paperback book of this tome as there are words, phrases, paragraphs I wish to highlight, underline, and mark up on the real pages of this book. For now, I am getting the general lay of the land with Augustine’s life and thoughts, and then I shall prepare for excavation another time.

A lovely visit with some mom friends for a morning cup of coffee at the cutest coffee shop in town, with stained glass windows, cozy chairs, and a quiet little book nook.

I’ve been organizing Moms Prayer Groups for about 6 years at the little classical and Christian schools we’ve been blessed to be part of. This morning, our prayer group got together for a cup of coffee and fellowship after prayer. Its a joy to make time for friendship.

On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, The Wingfeather Saga, Book 1

On our drives to school in the mornings, it’s nice to have a story to play for the fifteen minute drive. Occasionally, we listen to music, other times we are in a conversation, or there have been times when the eldest son has had us in stitches laughing at his very talented array of accents. But there are some mornings, I press play on the audiobook and all becomes quiet as we settle in for the drive into town and listen once again to this beloved story. I first read these books to our kids a few years ago at bedtime. I would position myself in the hallway between the bedrooms and read aloud this endearing and meaningful tale of the jewels of Anniera. This time, we are all listening to the adventures of Janner, Tink, & Leeli in the wee hours of the morning.

St Patrick: His Confession and Other Works & The Life of St Patrick and His Place in History

I have long been fascinated by Christianity in Scotland and Ireland, and love to learn more about early Christians in the years after the apostles. When living and working in Scotland years ago, I was introduced by a missionary friend to St Patrick’s Breastplate prayer in his “Confessio”. Reading works written by these ancient heroes of the faith, written in such intelligent prose and with depth of passion for the Lord Jesus, is both an education and an encouragement in the faith. Reading more about what we know of Patrick’s life and work is also incredibly inspiring.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through a belief in the Threeness,

Through confession of the Oneness

Of the Creator of creation.

I arise today

Through the strength of Christ's birth and His baptism,

Through the strength of His crucifixion and His burial,

Through the strength of His resurrection and His ascension,

Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom…

-Patrick, circa 377AD (The Lorica of St Patrick or St Patrick’s Breastplate or Faeth Fiada)

The Story of John G. Paton: Or 30 Years Among South Sea Cannibals

This is a book I’m reading aloud with my kids once a week. We are usually reading through a biography of a Christian in history. This year, we finished The Hiding Place, God’s Smuggler, and now we are slowly making our way through John Paton’s story as a missionary. Sharing these stories of lives laid down for the sake of the gospel inspire us to live our lives in His service.

I’m working my way through several other books when I have time and also listening to the audio of a seminary class from Covenant Theological Seminary in St Louis, Missouri, called Ancient and Medieval Church History, another period of time I want to understand more deeply.

As I was growing up, my mom had an Irish prayer on a cloth hanging in the laundry room. It is a good reminder that the words you put on your walls for all to see send a message to those who live and take shelter there. Send messages of truth and hope in this life! They become treasures one holds on to. Below is that Irish blessing and a photo I took this week while walking with a friend in the canyon.

May you look for and find beauty on your pathway with the Lord.

A Little Night Music in August

As our spring season barreled down the tracks and came to a screeching summer halt, we found ourselves in need of quiet and solace. We borrowed an RV and headed for the mountains of Cascadia. Completely off the grid, we set up camp at a site on the side of a cliff that overlooked the Ohanapecosh river. A humble creek flowed unassumingly behind us in a trickling waterfall over a moss-covered log, glory in every drop of water. We reached our hands into streams of hot springs that trickled over rocks from within the living volcano. The well traveled trail to Silver Falls was quiet and still as perpetual sunlight followed our footsteps. We buried ourselves in books around the campfire, stared up at the stars as dusk descended, swam in the frigid snow-melt, and slept with the sound of the river lulling us into peaceful slumber. With a few other adventures along the way, we feel restored and refreshed, and with so many hours on the road across Washington state, into Idaho, and all the way up home to Beautiful British Columbia, we listened to satisfying music which I want to share with you. Here comes the mother-load!

This month’s “eine kleine nachtmusik” might take a few evenings to enjoy. I think if I ever lost my ability to hear (or more of my ability to hear as some in my family might say), it would be okay, I would hear music in my head and heart all the same, and bounce to the beat the Lord ingrained in my heart. Music is a gift from the Lord to carry us through soaring heights, comfort us in dark valleys, and lift us on eagle’s wings out of canyons of confusion and despair where we can see clearly again. Music is an intimate way to experience life. I think that is why it is so subjective. What touches one person’s soul will be like nails on a chalkboard to someone else. When one person needs the soothing calm of J.S. Bach’s Air on the G String, another might need a bit of pep in the step with the Dave Brubeck Quartet or the volcanic velocity of Eva Cassidy’s vocals in Oh, Had I a Golden Thread. We come from such varying backgrounds and life experiences. There is no end to the creation of new songs, and for those who trust in Jesus, we have the sure and steady hope that we will enjoy an eternal song.

The following is a list of songs that have accompanied me on many miles of travel this summer in Cascadia, a Land of Falling Waters. May this music fall on open ears, soft hearts, and may it bring you to the stream of Living Water, Jesus Himself.

Trust in the Lord - Jon Guerra

A Thousand Shores - Leslie Jordan

Have Mercy - Paper Horses

John 3:16-17 The Words of Jesus Vol. 1 - The Corner Room

Oh The Mighty Hand - City Alight

All Glory Be To Christ - Emily Weiss

Oh sing to the Lord a new song;

sing to the Lord, all the earth!

Sing to the Lord, bless his name;

tell of his salvation from day to day.

Declare his glory among the nations,

his marvelous works among all the peoples!

For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;

he is to be feared above all gods.

For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,

but the Lord made the heavens.

Splendor and majesty are before him;

strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

Psalm 96:1-6 ESV Bible

Welcome Autumn, Welcome Frost

Good autumnal morning! That seems to be the appropriate way to start this post this morning. When I took our dogs outside this morning, the joy of the first frost welcomed me into a new season, that of late autumn in the Pacific Northwest. In three weeks, we went from having 80 degree weather, a pleasantly long summer, to freezing temperatures. Our typical Fall was short this year, but the frost is a welcome change with sweaters and scarves and pumpkin scented candles, fires crackling in the hearth, and children donning their slippers I made for them last year.

Occasional seasonal posts seem to be all I have capacity for in this season of church planting. My days and weeks are joyously full. My husband has to remind me to slow down and rest. But I love to minister to others, and it gives me great joy to care for my home, light the candles before the guests arrive (or have guests light the candles for me when I forget), and have the kitchen ready for the next deluge of crockpots to be brought and plugged in. My kids set up the extra long table and pull chairs from around the house to seat as many as possible as other furniture is shoved to the sides of the room to make more room. I recently bought a beautiful yellow linen apron, quite inexpensive and simple, but it delights me as I prepare. The baskets of baby and toddler toys are pulled out so the littlest guests can play, and the board books from my kids’ earlier days are still being loved (and chewed) by the little ones in our church family. Recently, I decided to purchase a new front door mat as our old one (from only two years ago) has worn away with all the feet that have crossed our threshold in two years of church planting.

I will share in this post about two studies I am pursuing this Fall. The first is listening to the audio of a class on Hebrews to Revelation, by Dr Dan Doriani from Covenant Theological Seminary in St Louis. Together with a friend, we are listening to this series of lectures and once a week, discussing what we are learning in an hour long video call. This has been a great way to dig deeper into Scripture together. I love to listen to the audio while folding laundry, doing chores around the house, taking the dog for a walk, or driving to town for errands.

Reading This Beautiful Truth at Ohanapecosh, Mt Rainier, Washington, Fall 2022

The second study I am pursuing at the moment is an online book club called Book Girl Fellowship by Sarah Clarkson in England. Last year, her book, This Beautiful Truth: How God’s Goodness Breaks into our Darkness, was released into the world. I recently finished this book, and think that I may have to write a book review on it. It is a light shining in this world of deep darkness. I had to read just little bits at a time, to savor each section. I didn’t want to put it down, but I also didn’t want it to end. It means so much to me that she willingly wrote such a personal and vulnerable account of God’s goodness in mental illness. Because of this book, I wanted to hear more of what she has to share with the world and be one of those receiving the light of Christ she is reflecting through her words as she discusses great works of literature and theology.

And now I must be off to fold laundry and listen to the next lecture in the Hebrews study, while my children are at school today. May autumn leaves fall softly on your fields, and may the warmth of candlelight illumine your day. You are so beloved by the Good Shepherd.