Gathering Gardens of Words ~February

We visited some friends this week for dinner and I noticed they had one of those glass-framed moving sandscapes. I used to love those as a kid. I was waiting to pick it up and change the scenery and when I couldn’t wait any longer, I tipped it this way and that, watching the sand fall and move into a new scene. There is something calming about these blessed inventions. When we read good books, especially the slow reading of words on a paper page that we turn with our fingers, we give ourselves time for these words to settle into our minds and we give ourselves time to consider well-crafted words and phrases, like the sand that settles into new forms when tilted to and fro. We behold beauty in those words and scenes that are formed afresh in our imaginations.

This year, in my corner of the online writing world, I plan to share quotes from books I’ve been reading, fresh scenes wondrously crafted that they may be like a fresh wind from the west to clear away the debris of the mind and bring little visions of light. And perhaps, you may just find a new book that piques your interest. Perhaps the turning of pages will bring a stillness and slowing down amidst the rush and speed of our lives and circumstances. Here below are a few quotes I’m sharing in February.

In Winter, we love to visit the Bavarian town of Leavenworth, WA as a family. On one of our trips, we found this tiny library, a miniature model of a little bookstore. It was about 10 inches tall. I couldn’t help but take a picture to remember it.

Love is what carries you, for it is always there, even in the dark, or most in the dark, but shining out at times like gold stitches in a piece of embroidery. ”

― Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter

Photo by Catherine Kay Greenup on Unsplash

“There is always a cost to wrongdoing and it must fall on someone. Either the wrongdoer bears it or someone else must. This is true even if the wrong is not something that can be measured financially. The cost may be in reputation or relationship or health or something else. To forgive is to deny oneself revenge (Romans 12:17–21), to absorb the cost, to not exact repayment by inflicting on them the things they did to you in order to “even the score.” Therefore forgiveness is always expensive to the forgiver, but the benefits—at the very least within your heart, and at best in the restoration of relationship and a witness to the power of the gospel—outweigh the cost.”

― Timothy J. Keller, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?

“Humility, the place of entire dependence on God, is the first duty and the highest virtue of the creature, and the root of every virtue. And so pride, or the loss of this humility, is the root of every sin and evil.”

― Andrew Murray, Humility: The Journey Toward Holiness

Photo by The Cleveland Museum of Art on Unsplash

“The highest glory of the creature is in being only a vessel, to receive and enjoy and show forth the glory of God. It can do this only as it is willing to be nothing in itself, that God may be all. Water always fills first the lowest places.”

― Andrew Murray, Humility: The Journey Toward Holiness

Now I know what we were trying to stand for, and what I believe we did stand for: the possibility that among the world's wars and sufferings two people could love each other for a long time, until death and beyond, and could make a place for each other that would be a part of their love, as their love for each other would be a way of loving their place. This love would be one of the acts of greater love that holds and cherishes all the world.

― Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter

Photo by Birmingham Museums Trust on Unsplash

It was the literacy that gave him his great joy at Dobson’s for in the schoolroom there was a shelf containing a few tattered books, given by some kindly citizen, and the boys were allowed to read them on Saturday nights. Few made use of the privilege, for they couldn’t read well enough, but Job read them all… All the books had pictures in them. The books were like rooms in a great house and the pictures were lamps lit in the room to show them to him. As he read his dreams slowly changed…

― Elizabeth Goudge, The Dean’s Watch

Photo by McGill Library on Unsplash

A Little Night Music in December - Phos Hilaron

Phos Hilaron
O gracious Light
pure brightness of the
everliving Father in heaven
O Jesus Christ, holy and blessed!

Now as we come to the setting of the sun,
and our eyes behold the vesper light
we sing thy praises, O God:
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit

You are worthy at all times
to be praised by happy voices
O Son of God, O Giver of Life
and to be glorified through all the worlds.

The darkening days grow colder and wetter. We wear sweaters and slippers and blankets knitted by the great-grandmas. We keep the duraflame logs going in the fireplace and gather in our little bear den together in the evenings. December is upon us and yesterday we celebrated St Nicholas’ feast day, when we remember the pastor from Myra who loved Jesus with his whole heart and poured out that love and generosity by giving to those in need and being a gatekeeper and defender of Biblical teaching. What a fun day to celebrate!

I want to wish you a Happy New Year! Wait, you say, its not even Christmas yet! Well, let me explain. This past Sunday was the first Sunday of Advent, and in the liturgical Christian calendar, Sunday was the first day of a New Christian Year! The Church calendar begins in the darkest time of the northern hemisphere, and it begins with Advent. Advent is the first season of the new Christian year, a season of waiting and watchfulness, a season of hope and anticipation, expectation that the Light is coming.

We remember the first coming, the Incarnation of Jesus, the Son of God, and we wait with joyful hope and comfort for His second coming one day, when He will return as He said, and He will dwell forever with the Church, His Bride, and all things will be made new on Earth and in Heaven. The Consummation of all things will be accomplished, and we will feast as the temple of living stones with Jesus, the Bridegroom. I hope that these selections of music and meditations will be like a little digital gift from me to you. Thank you so much for popping on here every once in a while this year and reading. I am thankful for every passerby, who might stop and read and ponder for a little while here. I hope these words are seeds the Lord uses to bring Truth into your life, His goodness to fill your days, and to point you to His Word to light your path and surround you and fill you with His holy love. It is only His Word that matters. So that is my prayer that my words point your gaze to His Word, the living Word that brings light and life!

As music is played in our home daily and hourly, (I like to put on Chopin for our dog when we leave the house), it is obvious that music is like food for the soul. I need gentle music in my life. Soft, soothing, nourishing melodies and harmonies, truthful light-filled words that comfort my soul from the darkness of this world. Psalm 119:130-132 says, “The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant, because I long for your commandments. Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is your way with those who love your name.”

In our church, my husband preaches through every book in the Bible. There is not a passage of God’s Word that is ignored (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Every Sunday, we gather as a church to hear the Scriptures read and taught, skillful teaching of a learned theologian. The unfolding of God’s Word gives light. Jesus, the Word made flesh, came to bring us Light. It mattered that much to Him, to be made one of us. On us a light has shone. (Matthew 4:12-17) May the beauty of this seasonal music usher you into a hope and light-filled new calendar year, as soon the light will grow physically in the northern hemisphere. As the Kingdom of God advances throughout the world, the now and the not yet, the redeeming of God’s creation is happening. He is reaching into the lives of lost people to bring them into His fold of grace. May these songs bring this great hope to flourish in your hearts.

May Jesus’ words in this scripture reading be our joy!

Jesus said, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:17-19 ESV

Until all is accomplished! What a beautiful hope to dwell on every day He gives us breath.

Music

Arise & Look to the Skies by Craig Harris

Hark What Music Fills the Sky by Craig Harris

Once in Royal David’s City by Voces8

In the Bleak Mid-Winter by John Van Deusen

Behold the Lamb of God by Andrew Peterson

Brightest & Best by Keith & Kristen Getty & Ricky Skaggs

Christmas by Sandra McCracken

The Bells of Dublin by The Chieftains

A Celtic Family Christmas by Natalie MacMaster & Donnell Leahy

Meditations

On the Incarnation by St Athanasius of Alexandria

From the Cradle to the Cross by The Keeping Company

Heaven and Nature Sing by Hannah Anderson

Sacred Seasons: A Family Guide to Center Your Year Around Jesus by Danielle Hitchen

The Art of Advent: A Painting a Day from Advent to Epiphany by Jane Williams

“The Savior is working mightily among men, every day He is invisibly persuading numbers of people all over the world, both within and beyond the Greek-speaking world, to accept His faith and be obedient to His teaching. Can anyone, in face of this, still doubt that He has risen and lives, or rather that He is Himself the Life? Does a dead man prick the consciences of men, so that they throw all the traditions of their fathers to the winds
and bow down before the teaching of Christ?”

― St. Athanasius, On The Incarnation

“I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.”
Psalm 146:2

A Little Night Music in November - A Feast of Your Faithfulness

A photo I took while hiking in the Wenatchee National Forest this Fall on our church women’s retreat.

Good morning on this foggy November day. It has been a full month in our corner of the world. Frost clings to the grass in the morning as we wake up groggy-eyed and prepare for the day as we take glimpses out the window of the sun ascending behind dense clouds that blanket our valley. I am sneaking this little post into November before the month slips away into memory. I hope these songs lift your gaze to the one and only true God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit of the ancient Scriptures. If you have not read these ancient Scriptures yet, I invite you to read the entire book of the Old & New Testaments. Read with openness and curiosity. Read with the skill of understanding and exegesis. Read with a desire to wrestle with these words and wonder. Wonder why a small group of followers of this person from Nazareth turned into a worldwide movement that has lasted 2,023 years and covers the globe. Wonder about who this Person of history was, is, and will always be.

This month I’m sharing recordings by a wonderful singer songwriter. These recordings combine both her music and her testimony during a very difficult season of her life. God has given her new songs born out of suffering, light out of darkness, diamonds in the dust of despair, pain redeemed, a harvest of beauty, goodness, and truth.

When we share about our weaknesses and struggles in life and the goodness that Jesus has brought out of it, God is glorified. The fragile façade of our perceived goodness and strength mercifully crumbles out of sight. Refined in the furnace of Truth, we are given new eyes to see Christ for who He truly is.

Bethany Barnard released these songs in 2021. In 2022, she released a follow up album of brief explanations of these songs to give the listener more insight into her story. I hope you will be refreshed and encouraged from listening to her music, and through these tracks as she discusses her heart… “behind the songs.”

Bethany Barnard on Apple Music, Youtube, and bethanybarnard.com.

A Little Night Music in April

Photo by Kenrick Mills on Unsplash

The candle is lit, Mozart’s strings and flutes play in the background and I sit down for a moment of rest and reflection. Its been a full month, and it seems I am only able to write once a month here on my blog. We have seasons that are fruitful and seasons where our fields lay fallow. Each season has purpose and our labor is to ask the Lord what shall we do in each of those seasons. What shall we do with the time we are given? Should we harvest, or is it time to plant? Should we till the soil and add the nutrients and minerals that will produce a better harvest next year. Should we let the field rest and restore as is God’s wisdom in caring for the land He has entrusted to us. Writing is a place of rest and creativity for me. So the field of this writing space is where I come to recharge and pour out of that rest, but, at least for this season, it is perhaps more sparse, but still there is work being done in feast or fallow.

Today, I want to share some music that has blessed me this month, and may, in turn, bless you the reader. I had never heard of Tenielle Neda before this month, and I am captivated by her music. Her songs are scripture based and come from a Reformed theology background. She is a wife, mom of two, and driver of iron ore trains in Australia - which I think is incredibly cool.

This is the music I play as I have become the chauffeur of my tweens and teens, to transport them and their friends, to drop off at track & field, music lessons, driving to and from school. I am in that season where I spend a large portion of time in my vehicle. So I must be prepared to use my time wisely, to be nurtured in my soul and mind, to learn and grow, to relax to music, and to pray. Driving time can be used for so many kingdom-minded moments. Tic Tacs, hand sanitizer, a bottle of water, a good pair of sunglasses, and a hat for bad hair days are also along for the journey!

What is My Hope? - Tenielle Neda

“And if we live, we live to the Lord. And if we die, we die to the Lord…”

The Heidelberg Catechism was published in 1563 and can be summarized as “an ageless summary of an everlasting comfort.” Question 1 asks, “What is your only comfort in life and death?” The New City Catechism also asks this first question, “What is our only hope in life and death?” The answer is the basis of this song, and Scripture is the basis of this timeless answer.

Romans 14:7–8

For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.

The Heidelberg Catechism answers it this way:


That I am not my own,

but belong with body and soul,

both in life and in death,

to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ.

He has fully paid for all my sins

with his precious blood,

and has set me free

from all the power of the devil.

He also preserves me in such a way

that without the will of my heavenly Father

not a hair can fall from my head;

indeed, all things must work together

for my salvation.

Therefore, by his Holy Spirit

he also assures me

of eternal life

and makes me heartily willing and ready

from now on to live for him.

This composition is full of emotion as it takes the listener from a minor key, asking the question of what is my hope? Even this simple question is evidence that we live in a broken and sinful world in need of restoration. The fact that we have to ask what our hope is, shows that we need hope to live in this world. It is a sacred question and one that confronts the darkness all around us, the emptiness of worldly pursuits, and the desperate need to be filled with the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit in our souls. There is a sadness that accompanies this question. It is not stated, but it is there in the backdrop of our need to define what is the most important thing about our existence.

The song moves victoriously into the chorus with a triumphant major key resolution, almost a sense of rest as it guides one into the truths of Scripture, the food for our souls to be nourished by. There is an answer to the longing of our souls and it is found in the Bible, the Word of God. As a youth, I remember this verse standing out to me as I searched the Scriptures to know Yeshua more intimately. “If we live, we live to the Lord” was such a radical truth that imbedded into my soul. God was calling me to live for Him.

The words and music of this song become perfect companions for the meaning of these truths and the rest that all Scripture gives in answer to the questions we ask in this dark world, a world that is being and will be renewed and restored by King Jesus.

I pray that you are blessed by this song as much as I have been, and that it will be eine kleine nachtmusik to reflect on in a moment of quiet.

On the First Day of Spring

On the first day of Spring, I opened the blinds to welcome the rays of sunlight that eagerly wanted to be allowed in. I showed you, my little one, a sweet video from your school teacher as she sang a song of hope and peace, strumming on her guitar from her treehouse. I ground freshly roasted coffee beans and prepared a pot. We gathered around to read God’s Word and be reminded of the greatest Story ever told, the real Story. It strengthened our souls for the day.

On the first day of Spring, our days looked very different than we ever expected. Your days were spent at school from Monday to Thursday, with a home study day on Fridays. I had just started working a part time job at a flower farm. With two and a half months left, we were almost through the school year, anticipating a major move across the state.

On the first day of Spring, our world had succumbed to a global pandemic as an invisible enemy, a deadly virus, swept swiftly across the world, infecting hundreds of thousands of people and killing over 10,000. All major league sports shut down first, then came the schools. Restaurants, cafes, and large retailers closed their stores. Daily, we were waiting and watching expectantly for the next set of recommendations from the government to slow the spread of the virus, to self-isolate in our homes, and stock up on food and supplies.

On the first day of Spring, we went outside to bask in the sunshine, to climb a tree, to talk to a neighbor, while making sure we stayed six feet away. The weather was warmer, and our windows were wide open. We needed to expand our living space. Looking out into the woods behind our house, I longed for you kids to run, climb, and explore in nature. I grabbed my garden clippers and called to you children to follow. I pulled up one of the many tree stumps from the trees our landlords had cut down last Fall. I picked up a smaller tree stump and precariously heaved it over the chain fence, intending to upend it as a stepping stool when I wanted to climb back over. As I stepped up onto the stump, I wondered how I’d get my 42 year old self over this chain fence and land safely on the other side.

On the first day of Spring, I was determined. I went for it and got myself up onto that fence and over with almost as much class and agility as I had when I was a teenager. I was determined. You kids followed, one with excitement, one with curiosity, one with much uncertainty, and one of you stayed in the hammock, safe and sound. I started clipping away at thorn branches, and overgrown wilderness, clearing a neat and tidy pathway into our new wilderness. If we were to self-isolate, we needed a magical place to escape to, to feel normal in, to imagine, wonder, and create.

On the first day of Spring, I prepared a clearing, surrounded by ferns, fallen trees to climb, coniferous trees, a moss-covered stone and a scattered assortment of large white feathers by an unknown bird. I named our paradise, The Castle of Timberwood! It is a magical place of pure delight and natural beauty. And when the sun sets in the west, it weaves its rays of light through the trees and the ferns to wave farewell to the close of the day, clinging to the hope that there will be a tomorrow.

It was the first day of Spring.

Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada, March 2020

“When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things…”

(Wendell Berry, The Peace of Wild Things, New Collected Poems, 79)

Cliff Falls, Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada, March 2020

Woodland Hollow - A Memoire of our Life and Years at Seminary

I remember the exact spot along the main street of our town where my husband mentioned to me that he was thinking of going back to school to get his Master of Divinity degree. My eyes widened and I took a deep breath. It was 2014 and we had just had our fourth born child. My husband was already seasoned in church ministry and as a worship and missions pastor, and we were just starting to feel settled two years into our new life in Eastern Washington. The idea of a monumental move to seminary life was both exhilarating and overwhelming. We kept talking and dreaming, researching and praying. A year of preparation later, we were on the interstate driving to our new home, a place I had never been, in St Louis, Missouri. 

Three years later, this May, my husband graduated with his Mdiv from Covenant Theological Seminary with honors. He did it! We did it! God did it! These three years are so full of life, provision, friendship and growth... and Hebrew translations! I told someone that I could write a book on our time at seminary, because God did so much!

Our little apartment on campus has been such a blessing. At only about 900 square feet of livable space, our family of 6 has lived life to the full. Birthday parties, holiday potlucks, men’s campfire nights, prayer nights with the ladies, and coffee with friends, our small kitchen and dining area has hosted over 15-20 children and 12 plus adults at once. We don’t believe in letting the size of our home dictate how many people we welcome into our home. The Lord provides the space and the food fills the tummies.

Surrounded by a Viburnum "Korean Spice" flowering bush, we found delight in our  patio, a sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of community life. A place to be still and quiet before the Lord and a place to watch the sun rise just over the hill as rays of light streamed in through the windows in the morning. The Lord knew exactly what we needed for our family of six. My husband constructed 5 garden boxes where we did a little gardening, although Ferdinand the Squirrel was caught red-handed with a cucumber in his mouth!

We grew flowers, and grew our imaginations as little woodland friends (pet substitutes) joined us on our patio every day. Perhaps the critters felt that we needed to share the space, after all, Edith Schaeffer would have welcomed them with her hospitality! I remember one bold chipmunk running between my feet to scale the wall as I watched the birds and hummingbirds one summer afternoon! Lizzie the Lizard hasn't been seen for ages, but she made a comeback in our lives when my Kindergartner made a toilet paper roll replica of her reptile-likeness.

The natural surroundings on campus have been a place of great imagination for the kids, making tree forts and pretending to be wolf children in the snow with their friends! One December turned out to be a lovely warmish day and the seminary kids congregated on our hill and played in the sprinkler like it was summer! At other times, it wasn’t unusual to see a seminary dad and his kids sledding past my window on an early winter morning.

God has provided for us in so many ways, financially, with our health, and in relationships. There were an abundance of trials that went along with this very sweet season of life for our family. We had to continue day by day in faith that God would provide the work and finances that we needed to get by. We were at times inundated with health issues and at other times, completely illness free for months. We watched the Lord provide as checks would come in the mail at just the right time, and we watched God work through our circumstances to push and prod us in certain directions.

There were times where we felt strong spiritual attacks and several times when I would wake up in the middle of the night speaking the name of Jesus aloud as I woke up and bolted upright. I would pray through the night and speak the Word of God aloud.

There were other times I felt the Lord's presence so strongly. And there were days I didn't know how I would make it through with all the responsibilities that were on my plate each day and the various needs of our young family. But like a gentle shepherd, Jesus cares for those with young and He carried me through this season that He called us to.

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.”

— Isaiah 40:11

When we first set out for seminary, there were many who had concerns if this was good for our family. What we found was, there were many families just like us who were doing just what we were doing, living by faith because of God's call, taking up our crosses to follow Him into the unknown and trusting that He would sustain and provide. We are eternally grateful for this season of life and that it is a part of our story.

Woodland Hollow is what I named our little patio and home on the beautiful sprawling campus of Covenant Seminary. There was beauty and friendship, kindness and compassion, prayer and healing. There was sidewalk chalk and "science experiments", mud pits and basil-snatchers, fresh sweet tea and read alouds by the campfire, and conversations with expectant mothers as a birth doula. The ebb and flow of life, changing seasons, tornado warnings, summer storms, fireflies and spilled birdseed.

When I think about my favorite places in St Louis, I immediately come up with three:  the Missouri Botanical Gardens, my bedroom desk corner that looked out towards the pine tree along the path behind our building, and our living room couch where I gazed out the window to watch our children, the flowers and the birds as they grew from season to season and year to year in our special corner of St Louis.