Dreamers Dreaming Greatly

“Before us all dawned, I think a new horizon – of the glory of the task to which God has called us – a glory in its every hardness & in the sense that we are working for the future & its coming day.  ‘We were dreamers dreaming greatly.'”  Lilias Trotter, Missionary to Algeria, 23 October 1911

A couple times this year, I was asked if we’ve experienced anything difficult in church planting. Church planting is hard. Its a daily dying and offering up of yourself to do work that is counter cultural, brings criticism, sits with people in their pain and suffering, counsels people to overcome sin in their lives, and intercedes in prayer for the building of a body of believers to stand against the powers of hell through the power of the Holy Spirit. It has been incredibly hard. Church planting has brought us to our knees in prayer many times. Throughout each trial that God ordained, He has strengthened us with a willingness to bear these things for the Kingdom of God, cocooning us in His love, defending us with His shield, becoming to us the Refuge to which we run. . We know our struggle is not against flesh and blood.

It made me think, have we not shared enough about our struggles? Have we only shared about the victories? I am a “glass half full” kind of person and so I try to see all the ways God is at work in a situation and then rejoice to bring Him all the glory, no matter how small the victory. I live to express my worship to God and praise Him for being the Wonderful One, and so that joy comes forth like a waterfall. But that joy is hard won. That joy was purchased for me on a bloody Roman cross by the Perfect One, the Lord Jesus. That joy was poured out through his electing will and through the indwelling of His Spirit. That joy was worked and reworked inside me as I went through years of formation during the dark years of depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, years of medication, counseling, and prayers for healing. Those dark times drove me to my Lord Jesus to depend on Him in ways I wouldn’t have, had everything been okay in my life. It was not okay for a very long time and at various times.

So I hide myself in the Lord Jesus where I find His protection and safety and security in His presence. I feed on His Word to sustain me and solidify my hope. He trains my hands for war, and that is what church planting is - it is war and a declaration of the victory of Christ claiming more souls with His torrent of love and forgiveness and grace.

As our fifth summer of church planting begins here in central Washington State, we see the beauty of summer unfolding in gardens, orchards, vineyards, in hiking trails and vacation time begins with visits to the woods, our favorite book shop, the new bake shop and of course the little garden shop where I just recently found the moonlight petunias I had been longing for. The reality of life is that life overlaps, with the good and the bad, the holy and the profane. As sun and heat bring vigor to our bones, it also brings local fires where people lose homes and animals and we watch the sky fill with smoke as friends send text notifications of evacuation. While our church continues to joyfully welcome new members, we also find freshly sprayed graffiti messages at the front entrance of our building. We step over these words as we enter to worship our Lord. Life overlaps.

Church planting is hard, but its very hardness is what makes it meaningful. The Lord works through those hardships to form us and to equip us. Nothing is wasted in the economy of the Lord’s work. And now we get to walk alongside others who are planting churches too, and encourage, pray, and support their work! We see God forming potential church plants in two areas near us. Our networks of friendships are planting churches in places around the country, and even more with those overseas planting gospel seeds for the beginnings of redeemed communities, gardens of God’s people being transformed by His wonderful Word, by the Word. The Holy Spirit hovers over His people, His gardens, and brings forth full and abundant life by His breath. We are dreamers dreaming greatly.

Welcome Autumn, Welcome Frost

Good autumnal morning! That seems to be the appropriate way to start this post this morning. When I took our dogs outside this morning, the joy of the first frost welcomed me into a new season, that of late autumn in the Pacific Northwest. In three weeks, we went from having 80 degree weather, a pleasantly long summer, to freezing temperatures. Our typical Fall was short this year, but the frost is a welcome change with sweaters and scarves and pumpkin scented candles, fires crackling in the hearth, and children donning their slippers I made for them last year.

Occasional seasonal posts seem to be all I have capacity for in this season of church planting. My days and weeks are joyously full. My husband has to remind me to slow down and rest. But I love to minister to others, and it gives me great joy to care for my home, light the candles before the guests arrive (or have guests light the candles for me when I forget), and have the kitchen ready for the next deluge of crockpots to be brought and plugged in. My kids set up the extra long table and pull chairs from around the house to seat as many as possible as other furniture is shoved to the sides of the room to make more room. I recently bought a beautiful yellow linen apron, quite inexpensive and simple, but it delights me as I prepare. The baskets of baby and toddler toys are pulled out so the littlest guests can play, and the board books from my kids’ earlier days are still being loved (and chewed) by the little ones in our church family. Recently, I decided to purchase a new front door mat as our old one (from only two years ago) has worn away with all the feet that have crossed our threshold in two years of church planting.

I will share in this post about two studies I am pursuing this Fall. The first is listening to the audio of a class on Hebrews to Revelation, by Dr Dan Doriani from Covenant Theological Seminary in St Louis. Together with a friend, we are listening to this series of lectures and once a week, discussing what we are learning in an hour long video call. This has been a great way to dig deeper into Scripture together. I love to listen to the audio while folding laundry, doing chores around the house, taking the dog for a walk, or driving to town for errands.

Reading This Beautiful Truth at Ohanapecosh, Mt Rainier, Washington, Fall 2022

The second study I am pursuing at the moment is an online book club called Book Girl Fellowship by Sarah Clarkson in England. Last year, her book, This Beautiful Truth: How God’s Goodness Breaks into our Darkness, was released into the world. I recently finished this book, and think that I may have to write a book review on it. It is a light shining in this world of deep darkness. I had to read just little bits at a time, to savor each section. I didn’t want to put it down, but I also didn’t want it to end. It means so much to me that she willingly wrote such a personal and vulnerable account of God’s goodness in mental illness. Because of this book, I wanted to hear more of what she has to share with the world and be one of those receiving the light of Christ she is reflecting through her words as she discusses great works of literature and theology.

And now I must be off to fold laundry and listen to the next lecture in the Hebrews study, while my children are at school today. May autumn leaves fall softly on your fields, and may the warmth of candlelight illumine your day. You are so beloved by the Good Shepherd.

Incarnation, Mount Doom, and Dusting Off the Front Porch of my Writing Home

Hello!

It has been quite a long while since I have written in this space. I have dearly missed it, but it was for a purpose. I was intentionally absent from writing here for an undetermined amount of time, while like a ship on the open ocean, I turned my attention full steam ahead to helping lay the foundations of a church plant alongside my husband. I have still been writing, but my writing has been focused on sending church plant updates to our prayer and support team, sending news of what God is doing through their prayers, encouragement, and support. So many people are involved in this work in various ways. For us, our role is on the front lines, and as such, we are reporting the answers to prayer, the changes in people’s lives, the work Jesus is doing, and the way the gospel is forming a people for God’s glory and kingdom here. It is a specific type of church ministry, and one that we would not recommend people get into unless they absolutely feel called by our loving Lord Jesus. In fact, recruiting for the adventure of church planting can be summarized in a quote by J.R.R. Tolkien:

“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.' I should think so — in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!” -JRR Tolkien, The Hobbit

I jest!

A winter storm is looming over the western horizon this week. surging over the mountain range, sending fierce gusts down through the hills of sagebrush and wildflowers. I sit with my favorite Mexican blanket wrapped snug around me in our “bear den”, slowly sipping a third cup of coffee, listening to the wind shaking the glass doors of our fireplace, and the faithful hum of the dryer machine tumbling clothes. Like the unfurling of a thousand magnolia petals in spring, this writing home peeks into the open and considers whether it is time to awake.

I am reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy aloud to my children. We are in the third volume, The Return of the King (my second time reading through the entire trilogy). We are nearing the end. I was reading the chapter called  Mount Doom. The kids prepared their mugs of hot tea. One was working on homework, one snuggled under a blanket, and two drawing and painting with watercolors. I had lit two candles. My heart was full. 

It was the climax of the entire 1008 page story. Perhaps I had too much coffee to drink that morning, or perhaps its middle age, but for some reason… I was moved to tears. Sam and Frodo were nearing the moment that would affect the entire course of history in Middle Earth and determine its fate forever. Frodo couldn’t go on, and his will was bending to the desires of the power of Mordor. Sam was determined. He would not let his friend give up. Sam realized this was the very purpose for which he had come. He finally knew his calling, and his mind was set to help Frodo finish his quest. In fact… “He felt no longer either desire or need of sleep, but rather of watchfulness.”

Watchfulness. 

As Frodo struggled on against all probability of a successful mission, an epiphany was happening within Sam. He knew Frodo was destined to the task of destroying the one ring and that he couldn’t fulfill Frodo’s destiny in his place. And yet, Frodo couldn’t do this alone. It is here we see Sam embrace his own calling, which was to practice the discipline of incarnation. 

“Come, Mr. Frodo!' he cried. 'I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.”

Last week, our Bible study group was discussing the incarnating work that Christ performed in various places in the gospel narratives. His display of compassion in these accounts transformed specific people’s lives, and through being included in the canon of Scripture, has transformed even the world. He taught his disciples how to incarnate into people’s lives.

What is incarnation? In his book, Compassion - Person of Jesus: A Study of Love, Paul E. Miller says,

“Incarnation seeks to go inside of others to find out what their needs are, as opposed to standing on the outside and helping them. When I incarnate with you, I slow down and think about your world. No one can help me think more clearly about your world than you.” (pg 114)

In many ways, we see Frodo as a picture of Christ. But we can also see Christ in the role of Sam as he takes on the example of the Good Samaritan who carried the beaten man back into life by providing for his physical and financial needs which then restored his very life. In the same way, Good “Sam”aritan carried Frodo into life by incarnating with him and literally taking on Frodo’s burden to save the world. This is as much a story about Sam as it is of Frodo.

“…Sam staggered to his feet; and then to his amazement he felt the burden light.”

Perhaps I was stirred because in this moment, I see two parallels. First, as a church planting wife, I see myself in the role of Sam at times. I am not called to the task of being a church planting pastor, but I am called to being a church planter’s wife. I am not called to carry all the responsibilities that come with being a Shepherd of a congregation, but I am called to be his helper. I am not called to know everyone’s journey in our congregation, but for those who share with me their stories, I hold those stories very carefully. As a pastor’s wife, I can’t carry my husband’s specific tasks for him, but I can carry him by loving him in a myriad of ways. Perhaps at times, I have been fearful of how to step into this role, but once embraced, the burden feels at times light, as if maybe Jesus really meant it when he said, 

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Here we come to the second parallel. The task that I am called to feels surprisingly light, once embraced, because the Lord is the one who strengthens me with his power, equips me through the Holy Spirit and his Word, and fully and totally completes the work that He has started (Philippians 1:6). Like John the Baptist, I can say, “I am not the Christ.” I don’t have to have all the answers, because Jesus does. He is the one who swept in and stepped in between us and our Enemy, and rescued us.

Jesus carries us across the finish line, because we are too weak to do this work in our own strength. He is strong. Each of God’s children is called to a task, or a quest, if you will. But it is God’s strength that carries us and enables us to finish the course he has prepared for us… and when embraced, to our amazement, we, too, feel the burden light because He is holding us.

What caused a few tears to fall while I read to my children? Perhaps I was stirred in that moment because of the simple human need to carry and to be carried, to incarnate and be incarnated with, to rescue and be rescued.