Christ and His Beautiful Bride

Wedding Rehearsal

The string trio set their bows to the strings and began the prelude as a holy hush gathered in the sanctuary of the 98 year old presbyterian church building. Grandparents and parents were seated first, and then bridesmaids and groomsmen. Turning my head toward the back, I caught a glimpse of the bride, the music changed, the congregation stood in awed respect to honor the bride as her father escorted down the aisle and gave her away to the groom.

I have been to countless weddings through the decades, mostly because my dad was a pastor and as a family, my sisters and I were always eager to attend yet another glorious marriage ceremony as we daydreamed of what ours would be like one day. This afternoon, as our dear friend gracefully and gloriously walked down the aisle with her father, the thought that came to mind was how glorious and beautiful Christ sees His Bride, the Church.

His Church, the people the Father has given Him, through no merit or effort of their own, have been chosen by God, before the foundation of the world, before literally anything was created into existence. His Church past, present, future, contains millions and millions of redeemed sinners, saved by His own sacrifice, to make them whole, healed, forgiven, redeemed. He makes His Church beautiful by giving her His own goodness, not of their own doing, but by unmerited favor poured out upon them and in them through the outpouring of His Holy Spirit into them, as He regenerates their souls and makes them a new creation in Christ.

As a congregation, we sang the song, Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me. Entering into this song of worship took this group of people into a moment of musical praise to our Lord Jesus whose presence was honored and invited and felt. A wedding is a picture of Christ and His Bride, the consummation of the ages, the glorious end to which we travel in this world, and yet what lies beyond this is more than we could ask or imagine. It will truly be the beginning of endless days of praise, goodness we have so long waited for, truth that heals all the lies we have believed about ourselves and others, and beauty that shines from the face of Jesus Himself, a beauty that outshines all others.

Will the world learn this? Will they hear these truths and turn to Him who so longs for them to know Him? Now is the time to turn your heart to Jesus and look into His wonderful face. Look at your groom! He comes for you, dear Bride of Christ.

Listen to this beautiful hymn recorded by our sister church in Washington state, by dear friends of ours:

The Church’s One Foundation, by Christ Church Bellingham

Photo from Unsplash

Gathering Gardens of Words in Autumn

The teenager appetite is quite impressive! Not only is our family consuming 120 eggs a week in this season of life, but baking has also ramped up this Fall. With prices at the grocery store also increasing, our food budget is quite tight, especially in that last week of the month when we are nearing the red line and have to get extra creative with what’s in the pantry. This is when our family opens the fridge door and stares a while as we contemplate whether or not to heat up the leftovers, concoct something out of the random remains of other meals or ponder what kind of soup we could make with perhaps a fresh loaf of artisan bread, because even a meager “end of the month” soup tastes like a feast with a fresh loaf of bread! Ah, it is Fall, my reading friends! The smells of fresh baked Autumn Apple Pie and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin chocolate chip muffins fill our home and brings a smile of delight and sense of care after coming in from a long day of work and school.

Where we live, we have 300 days of sunshine and quite a dry climate, so we have been enjoying the beauties of the season all around us. The leaves that have shadowed protectively over us are turning all crimson and golden as they make their farewell tour. We thank them for their service to us and bless them as they make their way into the autumn decay where they will return to nourish the soil. Our sunflowers finally made their way into a blooming golden fiesta! Even my chickens have enjoyed a couple of sunflower stalks growing around their coop. The two newest chicks, Poppi and Daisy, are now big enough to join the rest of the flock and are doing just fine! I realized I needed to get them acclimated to the rest of the flock after seeing some frost on the ground in the early morning. So I took down the makeshift fence within the coop and now they are able to nestle together in the shared warmth of their body heat for the colder days of Fall.

Just like the western winds that blew down from the Cascades this past week ushering in evidence of seasonal changes, our September was a whirlwind of hoisting the sails of new schedules and routines for our family. With our eldest now driving, we are able to manage a fuller load of activities. Along with starting up the school year for our children at their little classical school, milestones are happening at our church with the launch of new ministries and discipleship opportunities. And in the midst of all the beginnings and activities, I had the joyful gift from Jesus to whisk my teenage daughter away on a mother-daughter trip. At one point on our getaway, as we were surrounded by women worshiping the Lord through song, I whispered in my heart to my Lord, “Thank you, Lord. This is perfect.” Gratitude to my Lord Jesus, Giver of good gifts.

I want to share a quote with you that is the theme of where I am at right now in this moment as I chair our church plant’s Women’s Ministry Team. Its from the booklet of the Made for More Conferences that have begun this Fall around the nation:

“If we keep talking and walking together, things are going to change! Not only will we be changed or transformed as we unpack the content of the gospel in the context of intergenerational community, but also, we believe, the intergenerational discipleship culture of our churches will change. We will begin building bridges and removing barriers across the generations. Women will begin to think biblically about all of life and live those truths out covenantally and relationally. And as we keep walking and talking together, we will become increasingly ready to share the gospel and our lives together! You, our friend, are made for more than this world can offer!” -Karen Hodge and Katie Flores, PCA CDM

This month, I am also participating in a book launch team for Sarah Clarkson’s newest offering, Reclaiming Quiet, Cultivating a Life of Holy Attention. As part of the launch team, I get to begin reading a digital version of it before it releases in November. In these beginning chapters, I am drawn into her story as she describes the events that led her into the realization of her need to desperately pursue a season of quiet. Again, like in her other writings, I can relate to so much of her experience. Reading her words is like sitting down with an old friend who understands so much of seasons I have also walked through, including the intentional battle to pursue and attend to quiet in a noisy and distracting modern world. She writes:

“Somewhere along the way, my mind became crowded with the images and thoughts of countless screens and headlines, my soul restless and on edge, and the way to quiet, even in solitude, was no longer plain to me. I watched myself become increasingly formed and driven by my inward distraction, my incapacity to be still, my unease with hush. I witnessed the holy quiet of those early years being swallowed by the buzz of a mind primed to turn to a screen for comfort, addicted to headlines. I felt chased by all I witnessed online and all I must accomplish, desperate both to keep up with and also attend to the myriad voices calling out in sorrow or anger or outrage in the words on my screen. I could no longer look away from them without a mighty inward wrestle, and even then, I was haunted by the echoes of their frenzy and fury… St Teresa discovered a palace within her soul. I found a kitchen table in mine…”

“I stepped back into a sense of God’s companionship.”

-Sarah Clarkson, Reclaiming Quiet

I look forward to this month of delving into her book, reflecting on seasons of quiet in my own life and how God has so dearly met me there in the past, and what He will teach me this month as I wrestle with how “quiet” looks for me in my season and stage of life. I hope you will pick up a copy of her book too! It might just be a discipleship message others need to wrestle with as well.

My little pumpkin, a late bloomer, but happy to be here and growing quietly, sheltered by a blue spruce in a part of our yard that doesn’t usually get water… well, some water found the seed one day, and in late August, the plant sprouted up and began to grow. Its been a welcome surprise of life adorning our chicken coop and making me chuckle every time I pass by it.

Into the Whimsical World of Anne

I am reading the book, Anne of Ingleside, for the first time. In the Anne of Green Gables series, it is the 6th book in the series and shares the escapades and mischievous shenanigans of Anne and Gilbert’s children. For some reason, I never got around to reading the entire 8 book series growing up. I just started and stopped with the first book. Actually, I’ll share the reason, and for me it is a story of kindness and rediscovery. As a young girl, I was gifted the first book in the wonderful world of the orphan, Anne Shirley. However, I was swimming delightedly in an ocean of music, and so my literary adventures would blossom later, even though I loved reading short and inspirational chapter books.

In our church, the young girls were paired with an older woman who would pray for the girl they were matched with, send a card on her birthday, and little encouragement notes every once in a while. A kind and generous woman (so very lovely and godly; I think of her with such gratitude) gave me a brand new copy of Anne of Green Gables. I didn’t know the story, except that it was about an orphan girl on PEI and that it was made into a movie featuring Megan Follows in the 1980’s, of which I watched at some point in my growing up years and really enjoyed it! Oh how I loved watching television shows of that time in history: Road to Avonlea, Dr Quinn Medicine Woman, Pollyanna. These shows fascinated me, and I imagined what it would be like to live in Avonlea with pinafores and horse drawn carriages and oil lanterns. However, the book would have to wait.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had obsessive-compulsive disorder which hugely affected my reading capacity. I would read sentences and then ruminate over the words, getting stuck on words and staring at them as the minutes ticked by. Perhaps that is why I chose short books, ones that were about hope in God, overcoming trials, and horses, of course. Reading Anne was very difficult for me because the words she used were very long and sometimes foreign to my level of vocabulary. I stopped reading after trying very hard to tackle this large tome, and that’s okay. I wasn’t ready for it. At some point, eventually, I picked it up to finish it… another OCD reason because at that time, I felt that I had to finish books I started to feel a sense of completeness. It was a challenge the Lord ordained for me.

Many years later, when I finally met my beloved husband and we got married and started a family, my music world was diminishing for a season, and it was time for my literary world to awaken. What a wonderful Savior to bring about these seasons in his perfect timing. He knows oh so much more about ourselves than we could imagine. When my daughter was elementary age, we started a tradition of reading my beloved Mandie books to her. This was a precious time of the day. As she grew older, I decided it was time for the Anne books… for her AND for me! I found a beautiful set of the books with cover illustrations by the Canadian artist, Elly Mackay, published by Tundra Books. We began reading these books together, her and me, on our mommy dates, at times laughing out loud at the ridiculous adventures of Anne and her friends, and at other times, just delighting in the word craft of L.M. Montgomery. We loved the first 3 books, skipped Windy Poplars, and then I took up reading Anne’s House of Dreams and now Anne of Ingleside on my own. I think my daughter might rejoin me for the final installment in the series, Rilla of Ingleside!

And so I read and enter the worlds of beautiful descriptions of landscape and scenery, of seasons and sunsets all taking place on the magical Prince Edward Island in Canada. Sadly, the work of L.M. Montgomery’s Anne books was not noticed on the world stage during her lifetime, but in God’s timing, the stories she crafted with her impeccable imagination and grasp of the English language was a ministry of joy and virtue that still builds up young girls to this day. Reading together has created wonderful memories for me and my children, and the books and characters we’ve met through the years have taught us all meaningful lessons for life, virtue, and character. I pray my children will take these books with them into their marriages and families one day.

Its been as an adult that I’ve rediscovered Anne and the beauty of LM Montgomery’s words all these years later from the challenging reading days of my middle school years with undiagnosed OCD. But finding beauty is hard won in this broken world, and even LM Montgomery, the writer of some of the most beautiful verses in Canadian literature lived with incredible pain and suffering that her readers never knew as news articles have revealed in recent years.  I am convinced that joy and beauty are hard won, sought after through endurance and perseverance, and sometimes born out of severe circumstances, like the formation of the rarest and most precious gems. I leave you with a few quotes from this beloved author:

In imagination she sailed over storied seas that wash the distant shining shores of “faëry lands forlorn,” where lost Atlantis and Elysium lie, with the evening star for pilot, to the land of Heart’s Desire.”
— L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island

And this blessed quote that speaks so dearly to my season of life and motherhood right now! How precious are these years:

A family hike through sunflower fields

They were all growing so fast. In just a few short years they would be all young men and women... youth tiptoe...expectant...a-star with its sweet wild dreams...little ships sailing out of safe harbor to unknown ports...
But they would be still hers for a few years yet... hers to love and guide... to sing the songs that so many mothers had sung...
The night was cool; soon the sharper, cooler nights of autumn would come; then the deep snow... There would be the magic of firelight in gracious rooms...hadn’t Gilbert spoken not long ago of apple logs he was getting to burn in the fireplace? They would glorify the grey days that were bound to come. What would matter drifted snow and biting wind when love burned clear and bright, with spring beyond? And all the little sweetnesses of life sprinkling the road...
”What a family!” Anne repeated exultantly.
— L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Ingleside

My brave sunflower, shining with beauty and just loving the fact that she was created!

Gathering Gardens of Words in Summertime

Our family was gifted a trip to our beloved St Louis, MO this summer where we spent three years at seminary. The Missouri Botanical Gardens was one of my favorite places to visit and still is!

“I cannot think of a single thing in my life that doesn’t bear the touch of others. I’m guessing you can’t either. Of course we wish some of those chisel marks never happened—the ones that draw from us a plea for mercy, the ones that kindle a hunger for the renewal of all things. But other marks have been necessary to give us eyes to behold goodness, truth, and beauty we would not have known otherwise. Living with limits is one of the ways we enter into beauty we would not have otherwise seen, good work we would not have chosen, and relationships we would not have treasured. For the Christian, accepting our limits is one of the ways we are shaped to fit together as living stones into the body of Christ. As much as our strengths are a gift to the church, so are our limitations.”
— Russ Ramsey, Rembrandt is in the Wind: Learning to Love Art Through the Eyes of Faith

Our summer has been full, and what I imagined would be a summer of leisurely writing and more focused work on the crafting of words has ended up being quite sparse… like my apple tree this year. Nestled within the foliage of my tree there are apples growing, but not nearly as many as last year. I draw a correlation to my writing in this season. I can’t get there right now. Even my desire to write has languished this summer. Ah, limits. That’s right, I’m human. Though I want to get from point A to point B instantaneously, my legs can only carry my embodied soul there one little size 8 foot step at a time. So I enter into “the beauty we would not have known otherwise,” had my every wish and dream and accomplishment come true this summer!

Though there’s been a stillness here in my writing, our summer has not been still! So I will share some life-giving moments that have adorned our very full summer, including quotes from great books I’ve been reading.

Planting, replanting, repotting, and propagating have been a dusty, dirty, sweaty summer project these past few months. Our living room faces east and receives the sunlight into its embrace through several enormous windows. This is our plant room. I was never a great plant mama until we moved to this house. Now we have an abundance of natural light. We have mini monstera vines, a large monstera, two fiddle-leaf plants, of which one is a successful result of a propagation experiment, aloe, philodendron, pothos, and others. I may try fern this Fall. I grew up in the Fraser Valley of British Columbia where ferns grow profusely. I have cherished childhood memories spent amidst ferns, sitting beside green shadowed creeks where filtered light allowed one to see to the pebbled streambed through frigid clear mountain water. I distinctly remember turning over fern blades beside my elementary school to look for the miniscule spores, hid mysteriously from sight. Every hiking path was bordered by these luxurious plants. Even our home featured a hanging fern in our family room. I loved “helping my mom” by tending the fern, removing the dead leaves, and taking a scissors to it when I felt like it needed a haircut. Looking back, I’m not sure I was really helping! I have not had good success with growing a fern at our home in the high desert dry climate due to the intense heat of summer and constant need for moisture and shade outdoors. But I am determined to try raising a fern indoors in the Fangorn Forest that is becoming our living room.

This fiddle-leaf is a successful propagation from our mother plant.

Limitations are found everywhere, whether in our schedules, our projects and plans, or our weather and climate. I think the above quote is profoundly refreshing if one reads it with contentment and a deeper gaze into its meaning. Our limitations are a gift God has given to us, and it orients us to our Creator on whom we daily depend. We can find much rest and purpose in accepting our limitations if we can see the loving intention of the One who created us to be who we are designed to be.

This is another successful propagation from a mini monstera vine. The mother vine got pruned this summer, but in its glory, she grew round and round a chalkboard sign I had in our dining room, and then around a painting I found at the thrift shop. It always reminds me of the fantastical novel by Christine Cohen, The Sinking City, where the magician’s house is filled with magical vines.

I’ll be 47 this year. It boggles my mind that I can be this old already, but the signs are all there: the silver linings are growing deeper into a full-headed “crown of glory” as Psalm 16 reminds me, and I’m choosing to keep those gray hairs. Others choose differently, but I want to experience the natural way. There is a joy in that for me. My 20/20 vision of which I have so long been blessed with has been noticeably changing, so I picked up a pair of reading glasses one day from the dollar store, and was amazed, simply amazed by how much better I could see! Clearly things are changing, and that’s okay. Contentment is a form of beauty and when we can be quietly content, there is a peacefulness that no spa experience can manufacture. There is a peace that comes from being content in God’s presence. That peace cannot be purchased, it can only be received, and it only comes from Jesus who offers it freely. In all the changes that come with getting older, I can rest in Christ and trust the process. I can depend on Him. I’m enjoying reading this book mentioned next by John Andrew Bryant. It speaks to those who suffer in ways that Christians have a hard time talking about. So I’m thankful for his voice into these hard things, and the hope it gives.

There may come a day when we cannot be sane or capable, when we cannot be stable. But there will never come a day when we cannot be a Christian. Because a Christian is someone who depends on Christ, who can be quietly changed by depending on Him. We are assured that to depend on Christ is to be given Christ, utterly and completely. If we can depend on Christ with every horrible thing, then in the midst of every horrible thing Christ will give Himself to us, and by giving Himself to us, give us back to ourselves. In this way, even anguish and distress have been a transfiguration. In this way, every moment can be a transfiguration.”
— John Andrew Bryant, A Quiet Mind to Suffer With

As I’ve been reading throughout this summer a variety of books (Rembrandt is in the Wind to my tweens and teens, Phantastes by George MacDonald, The Way of the Sevenfold Secret by Lilias Trotter, Anne of Ingleside, Evidence Not Seen) I’ve also been mentoring some ladies through the book Life-Giving Leadership by Karen Hodge and Susan Hunt. This is the second time I’m reading through it, and goodness me, it is so marked up already, highlighted, underlined, notated, with coffee mug stains and creases, that I might as well just highlight the entire book. I’ve never read a leadership book so saturated with the good news of Christ’s work accomplished and how that affects our leading of others and our covenant community life with our local church body.

So, with the prayers, guidance and help of that leadership team, we developed a biblical apologetic of womanhood and of woman’s place in the church with an emphasis on Titus 2 discipleship. This women’s ministry narrative flows out of the sound doctrine that God is our reference point, His Word is our authority, and His glory is our purpose.”
— Susan Hunt, Life-Giving Leadership

This book is a fountain of mentorship for those willing to learn and grow from its wisdom. I will just share one more quote here and maybe write more later. But for now…

Life-giving leaders know they are nothing more than a tiny grain of wheat, called to a unique place of dirt where they are to die. We die to our fears. Perhaps it means dying to our reputation, or comfort or convenience. Maybe it’s dying to our plans, dreams, and agendas. Life-giving leadership is sacrificial. It’s costly and it’s daily. It’s glorious and it’s significant. It’s life-giving because it abides in Christ and bears gospel fruit.
— Karen Hodge & Susan Hunt, Life-Giving Leadership

That is all I have time for today! Perhaps this Fall season, words will come more easily and I may be more present here. But alas, the bread must be baked, books must be read, and a dog must be walked! ;) Ah, but it is so good and life-giving to write a few thoughts down here too!

Blessings and may you walk with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit today!

My Night Sky Petunias! When you look at them, it’s like you’re looking into the night sky!

Homemaking ~ The Ministry of the Laundry

Laundresses at Eragny, Camille Pissarro, c. 1901

The mountain rises every day, not just in its elevation, but in its girth. It is a mountain of socks with holes, t-shirts and sports shorts, of faded school uniforms, denim jeans too small, and kids’ shirts now too tight, mixed in with bedsheets, pillow cases, and tablecloths. We sort through the piles of laundered items to separate the items that fit from the items that are ready to be bagged up and ushered forth into the wonderful world of The Thrift Shop. The socks who’ve lost their matching pair are tossed into the lone sock drawer in the laundry room. One day, I’m sure I’ll go through that drawer and find all the pairs have been reunited in there over the years. Different seasons have called for different methods of managing the vast amount of laundry our family has used.

The baby years called for inordinate amounts of stain remover as I tried to rescue onesies from their unavoidable destiny of blowouts. (This is why new babies need a large supply of onesies for the first several months.) The toddler years saw my efforts for putting away folded clothes thwarted as my little ones loved pulling clohtes out of dresser drawers as soon as they could pull themselves up! During our seminary years, we were so busy with our four little ones and my husband in classes, that the laundry pile went onto the floor during the night, and back onto our bed during the day. The clothes always got washed and dried, but they didn’t always make it into neat and tidy folded stacks, and very rarely got put back into dresser drawers.

As our children grew and acquired more responsibilities, I would have them go through the clean laundry bins and pull out their own clothes and put them away (folded or unfolded, it didn’t matter, as long as they were in their drawers). They now regularly wash, fold, and put away their clothes properly… almost. I think we have finished training our children in laundry management.

Can there be beauty in washing the laundry? I would argue, yes, and I will state my case plainly. First, have you ever wondered where this clothing comes from? Which fabrics they are made from? How those fabrics got produced in the first place? And what plants or worms were the source of those fabrics? If you are like me, it is all so very fascinating and worth a good think! I want to look at fabrics with the intelligence of a worker who knows which plants these fibers have been culled from, and how to work with these fibers to make them last as long as possible. The fabrics that clothe my family are worth getting to know. It makes a difference to understand fabric and how to preserve and protect them for longevity. Its a type of stewardship, and yet not entirely a naturally enjoyable task, as any monotonous type of work creates this challenge. May I refer to the thorns and thistles of Genesis 3:18 & 19? Can we see beauty in something so tedious and mundane? Something I have loved to do in the last few years is to find beautiful works of art to inspire and enhance my domestic duties, to make it more of a creative act of beauty, than just a mundane task on my to-do list each week. If you’ve read this far, you are hooked! Hooray! A like-minded soul! Carry on!

One of the artists that best captures the beauty in the ordinary is artist, Camille Pissarro. I discovered one of his works one day while rummaging through the art and empty frames section of our local thrift shop. A sense of wonderment overtook me, almost an adrenaline. The name in cursive letters below the print was C. Pissarro. The painting I found was his piece titled, “The Hermitage at Pontoise” which portrays a quaint little village scene in the town of Pontoise, France. This painting is now reframed in our living room, prominently placed beside the piano.

Camille Pissarro was an impressionist painter who saw beauty in the ordinary tasks of the men, women, and children of his time, so much so that he sought to capture the experience of ordinary moments of daily living with the brushstrokes of his genius. Ordinary became art. Duty became beauty. Passing moments became opportunities to create with light and color. Not only are his works wall worthy, but they give me joy in the beauty of a hidden and quiet life.

“Known as the ‘Father of Impressionism’, Pissarro painted rural and urban French life, particularly landscapes in and around Pontoise, as well as scenes from Montmartre. His mature work displays an empathy for peasants and laborers,” -https://www.camille-pissarro.org/biography.html

In 1 Thessalonians 4:11, Paul urges the believers in Thessalonica to “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we instructed you…” (NASB).

Although I still prefer to do other things than fold the laundry, it’s also something that must be done. Nowadays, I fold laundry while listening to an audiobook or podcast so that my mind is engaged as well as my hands. I’ve found pieces of art that inspire me to do the work, enjoy the work, and watch as beauty is unfurled as a result of the work. Below are some of my favorite creative works that inspire me to do the duties the Lord has called me to and to find beauty in the mundane work that must be done. Other artists and musicians have found the glory in the mundane and have written songs about it. I find in these creative expressions, voices that articulate the worth of these domestic duties and puts their glory on display. Even the German poet, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe believed these sentiments when he wrote the famous line, “Cease endlessly striving to do what you want to do and learn to love what must be done.”

Since today is a day of much laundry: clothing, towels, bedsheets, and preparations for a guest, it seemed like the perfect timing to share this little message. I hope you enjoy and find beautiful ways to adorn your necessary everyday tasks of this life God has given you to steward.

Art

Woman Hanging Up the Laundry, Camille Pissarro

Painting by Lilias Trotter

Dreamers Dreaming Greatly

“Before us all dawned, I think a new horizon – of the glory of the task to which God has called us – a glory in its every hardness & in the sense that we are working for the future & its coming day.  ‘We were dreamers dreaming greatly.'”  Lilias Trotter, Missionary to Algeria, 23 October 1911

A couple times this year, I was asked if we’ve experienced anything difficult in church planting. Church planting is hard. Its a daily dying and offering up of yourself to do work that is counter cultural, brings criticism, sits with people in their pain and suffering, counsels people to overcome sin in their lives, and intercedes in prayer for the building of a body of believers to stand against the powers of hell through the power of the Holy Spirit. It has been incredibly hard. Church planting has brought us to our knees in prayer many times. Throughout each trial that God ordained, He has strengthened us with a willingness to bear these things for the Kingdom of God, cocooning us in His love, defending us with His shield, becoming to us the Refuge to which we run. . We know our struggle is not against flesh and blood.

It made me think, have we not shared enough about our struggles? Have we only shared about the victories? I am a “glass half full” kind of person and so I try to see all the ways God is at work in a situation and then rejoice to bring Him all the glory, no matter how small the victory. I live to express my worship to God and praise Him for being the Wonderful One, and so that joy comes forth like a waterfall. But that joy is hard won. That joy was purchased for me on a bloody Roman cross by the Perfect One, the Lord Jesus. That joy was poured out through his electing will and through the indwelling of His Spirit. That joy was worked and reworked inside me as I went through years of formation during the dark years of depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, years of medication, counseling, and prayers for healing. Those dark times drove me to my Lord Jesus to depend on Him in ways I wouldn’t have, had everything been okay in my life. It was not okay for a very long time and at various times.

So I hide myself in the Lord Jesus where I find His protection and safety and security in His presence. I feed on His Word to sustain me and solidify my hope. He trains my hands for war, and that is what church planting is - it is war and a declaration of the victory of Christ claiming more souls with His torrent of love and forgiveness and grace.

As our fifth summer of church planting begins here in central Washington State, we see the beauty of summer unfolding in gardens, orchards, vineyards, in hiking trails and vacation time begins with visits to the woods, our favorite book shop, the new bake shop and of course the little garden shop where I just recently found the moonlight petunias I had been longing for. The reality of life is that life overlaps, with the good and the bad, the holy and the profane. As sun and heat bring vigor to our bones, it also brings local fires where people lose homes and animals and we watch the sky fill with smoke as friends send text notifications of evacuation. While our church continues to joyfully welcome new members, we also find freshly sprayed graffiti messages at the front entrance of our building. We step over these words as we enter to worship our Lord. Life overlaps.

Church planting is hard, but its very hardness is what makes it meaningful. The Lord works through those hardships to form us and to equip us. Nothing is wasted in the economy of the Lord’s work. And now we get to walk alongside others who are planting churches too, and encourage, pray, and support their work! We see God forming potential church plants in two areas near us. Our networks of friendships are planting churches in places around the country, and even more with those overseas planting gospel seeds for the beginnings of redeemed communities, gardens of God’s people being transformed by His wonderful Word, by the Word. The Holy Spirit hovers over His people, His gardens, and brings forth full and abundant life by His breath. We are dreamers dreaming greatly.

Wait on You

Photo by Wojciech Święch on Unsplash

I stood still beside the window looking out on a misty morning, darkness fading as day came with conquering light, slowly yet confidently bathing the fields with exposure to beauty and knowledge. I didn’t know this new land. I had only driven through, spent little time in this city that we have now lived in for 7 cumulative years, having moved away and back again. Yet that first morning I awoke in this place was beautiful. It was filled with wonder and a holy fear. Where is this road taking us?

We were staying in a guest suite and I was having early labor pains. We had been to the hospital the morning before to make sure it was alright to travel across the mountains to the Yakima valley. It was too early to go into labor, I was not even 30 weeks along and yet the contractions were regular and constant. The doctor at the hospital monitored the baby and gave me some medicine to slow the contractions. Thankfully, it worked. My baby was safe.

We packed up our two toddlers and made the trek across the mountain pass. We were scheduled to meet with a church for my husband to candidate for the worship pastor job. I had mapped out every hospital along the route just in case the rumblings turned into full on labor.

On that morning of awaking to a blue pink misty field, I didn’t know how I felt about this place of unknowns. The gentle mist rising in an unknown land, a place and people that was foreign to me, and the question of whether we would raise our precious ones here. Would I trust the Lord with His shepherding love? Would I trust that the Lord would hold our family the way I was holding my pregnant belly, protecting the beloved  child growing inside?

Fast forward to this summer…

I’m always looking for new music, a new soundtrack to add to my personal life collection. I was telling some ladies recently, that while growing up, I was heavily into the CCM music scene. I knew every song by all the big name Christian artists and bands. There were few artists that I admit I didn’t know, but the ones I did, I listened to their music on repeat. Their song lyrics filled my days, and I memorized every lilt and stylistic overtone. I studied the cassette tape and cd jackets, enjoyed every photo and design element, and even took note of who played which instrument, who wrote the songs, who sang BGV’s, which instruments were used, and where the recording studio was located. These were important details, and I studied them like a kid studies baseball cards.

But not so today. Life is full and priorities have changed over the decades. Although, when I notice that an artist I appreciate has teamed up with an artist I’ve never heard of, I take notice of that. That is how I discovered Hillside Recording. I was listening to Tenielle Neda’s rendition of Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me, and saw that she had partnered with another band. Curious, I clicked over to their music and discovered new music to enjoy.

The cover art for the song, Wait on You, is a photograph of a field at dawn. I am drawn into this peaceful scene of a misty morning in the country, awaking to birdsong, and absolute quiet, a picture of serenity and peace, of the hope of a new day and new mercies from the Lord, of entering a day seemingly untouched by the brokeness of the world.

This photograph and song led me into two memories of awaking to a misty morning. The second memory is as a teenager at summer camp serving as a camp counselor at a Christian ranch in British Columbia. At early morning before dawn, I dressed and stepped outside of the cabin. Taking the road, I walked toward the fence with every crunch of gravel under my hiking boots. A baby calf stood nearby in the dew drenched grass, a fog covering everything, and a silence so peaceful. I longed to know Jesus more, to experience his presence and wait for him. Perhaps that is why a morning alone and in quiet is so precious to me. I want to sit at the feet of Jesus and wait on him with wonder and a holy fear, with a trust in the One who said, “Be still and know that I am God.”

I hope you too enjoy this song and learn to wait in expectation of the One who does more than we can ask or imagine.

In the stillness before dawn breaks
Steady my heart and mind as long as it takes
My God I've never seen far
Just keep my eyes on places You are
In every season I will wait
I will lean into Your strength
You will fight my battles I need only to be still

Wait on You, Song by Diana Trout and Hillside Recording